There are a lot of choices you’ll have for Halloween costumes this year: You could be a sexy cat, or a sexy dog, or a sexy mouse. Really, whatever you imagine, you can be. But when it comes to movies and TV shows, the costumes can get a little too creative.
Sure, you’ll get an overwhelmingly large Jaeger from “Pacific Rim,” or a million “Spring Breakers“-inspired Aliens. We’re talking about get-ups from this year’s biggest pop culture releases, though, that under no circumstances should you even attempt to put together. Oh, and spoilers ahead, by the way:
That Third Guy In “Gravity“
You’ll probably see plenty of Sandra Bullock and George Clooney astronauts this year. But what about that third guy? You know, the one who gets half his face blasted through by space debris? Yes, Halloween is time for a little gross-out here and there, but letting people look through a hole in your face might be too much gore even for a zombie.
The White House In “White House Down“
Two big reasons you shouldn’t dress as the President’s home from “White House Down” — and neither of them are “that’s too big of a costume to wear to a party. First, dressing as an exploding national monument isn’t going to score you any points — it’s just going to make people uncomfortable. And second, chances are you’re going to show up at the same party as an exploding White House from “Olympus Has Fallen.” Awkward!
Irving Zisman At The Strip Club In “Bad Grandpa“
Dressing as Johnny Knoxville’s old man character Irving Zisman? The movie was #1 at the box office this weekend, so why not, right? It’s worth noting that dressing as Zisman requires just a pair of tighty-whities with your long, dangling testicles hanging out. Knoxville needed to get drunk to take that one on, and he was getting paid to do it.
Naked Riddick In “Riddick“
When even Vin Diesel can’t pull off standing butt-naked on an alien cliff at sunset without people laughing, you certainly can’t.
SuperFisherman In “Man Of Steel“
Of all the costumes you could choose from “Man of Steel” — Superman, Zod, Jor-El, even Perry White — dressing in flannel and sporting a big old beard is just going to make people think you’re dressing as the final scene from “Dexter.” By the way, did Gillette ever figure out how Superman shaves? Or did that question end up filed next to, “Licks, Tootsie Roll Pop”?
“The Counselor“: Cameron Diaz + A Car Windshield
In the Ridley Scott movie’s most WTF scene, Diaz’s Malkina has sex with a car windshield. We’re all for adorable couples’ costumes but this one is just going to come off icky. Uh. We mean, the costume is going to come off as icky, not — You know what? Never mind.
Jo’s Ghost In “Safe Haven“
The only thing more embarrassing than spoiling the insane third-act twist that Cobie Smulders’ Jo has been a ghost the whole time is admitting you actually saw “Safe Haven.”
Red Wedding Talisa From “Game Of Thrones“
There are so many awful moments during “Game of Thrones” Red Wedding, it would hard to pick just one as the absolute worst Halloween costume possible. But pregnant Talisa getting stabbed right in the stomach and dying is something we never, ever want to see in real life. And our friends once dressed as JFK and Jackie Onassis post-assassination. This just might be worse.
Literally Anything From “12 Years A Slave“
Have an even worse pop-culture idea for a Halloween costume? Let us know in the comments below!