With actor Charlie Hunnam pulling out as male lead for the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie, it’s going to be a long, hard wait until we find out who will fill the waiting hole he’s left in the production.
And while we’ve been teased and tickled by possible replacements, we need something to relieve the tension. Here are MTV News’ suggestions for five erotic novels you’ll want to get off the shelves, ASAP:
‘Bared to You,’ by Sylvia Day
If you’re a huge, throbbing fan of “Fifty Shades,” why not check out the first book in Sylvia Day’s series of erotic “Crossfire” novels? Though fans of E.L. James novels will find a lot of parallels between the two series, including a possessive, damaged male hero, they’ll get some really steamy writing between the sheets.
‘The Story of O,’ by Pauline Reage
The prototype for “Fifty Shades,” Reage’s (a pseudonym, by the way) classic tome follows a Parisian photographer who desperately wants to be dominated and debased. Like “Fifty Shades,” O is less about the sex, and more about what someone will do for love: O just wants to make her lover happy, despite deriving no pleasure of her own. Actually, “Fifty Shades” is all about the sex, so never mind.
‘Lolita,’ by Vladimir Nabokov
The thrust of this classic novel is that a grown man — Humbert Humbert — becomes obsessed with the ridiculously under-aged Lolita. Those only familiar with wish-fullfillment fantasies like “Fifty Shades” will be shocked, but the rest will appreciate a novel with more on its mind than light bondage and heated thrusting.
‘The Autobiography of a Flea,’ by Anonymous
This 1887 novel is from the perspective of a flea hiding in a young women’s … er, nethers — which is pretty gross, but the novel itself is spectacular. You literally can’t turn to a page at random without finding some sort of new, perverted sex act (which is a great party game, by the way). If you can name it, the main character Bella has done it. Hey! Bella! “Twilight” fans should love this, too.
Dinosaur erotica, by Christie Sims and Alara Branwen
This actually exists. Two women, Christie Sims and Alara Branwen (both pseudonyms), have made it their life’s work to create novels where randy dinosaurs have their lizardy way with ready and willing human women. With titles like “Ravished by the Triceratops” and “Taken by the T-Rex,” there’s something for everyone’s tastes … as long as your tastes run towards having sex with dinosaurs. Hmm, we wonder if Hunnam would be more open to playing a sexy stegosaurus.