La Chameleon doesn’t say much in the new red band trailer for Robert Rodriguez’s blood-spattered, all-star sequel “Machete Kills.” But when Lady Gaga’s cigarette-smoking, blonde bombshell killer does open her mouth, well, let’s just say it’s not to compliment your driving.
“Hola mother—er,” Gaga snarls to Machete as she bumps his armored-up ride off the road with her orange VW microbus, coining what could be the next “It’s Britney, bitch”-style catchphrase. It’s one of many f-bomb-tastic moments in the NSFW trailer for the movie that marks Gaga’s big-screen debut .
The peek at the movie, which opens October 11, gives us way more of Mel Gibson’s deranged billionaire arms dealer, Luther Voz, as well as more disemboweling than you’re likely to see anywhere on screen this year. It also proves once and for all that Danny Trejo’s Machete is the baddest you-know-what around.
He blasts baddies with machine guns, slices their heads off with, yes, a machete, because, as president Charlie Sheen tells us from his South West Wing office, “Machete kills … that’s what he does!”
Too much awesomeness in one trailer. #MacheteKills
— Erwin Indrawan (@eindraw) September 18, 2013
His mission: to take out Gibson, who gleefully admits, “I’m a genuine, high-caliber f—er-people-upper.” The problem with Gibson? “He’s got a missile pointed right up our ass,” says eye patch-wearing mercenary Luz (Michelle Rodriguez).
And there’s only one recourse. “Shoot that mother—er!” orders Sheen (credited in this film by his birth name, Carlos Estevez). Gibson has an army of super soldiers at his disposal, though, which includes Gaga, Sofia Vergara (who rocks a mean bustier cannon as Madame Desdemona) and Cuba Gooding Jr. (El Chameleon).
Be prepared to see a man’s intestines pulled out and tossed into the rotating blades of a helicopter, lots of heads rolling, crotch-and-breast mounted weaponry and killer co-stars that include Amber Heard, Antonio Banderas, Demian Bichir, Jessica Alba, Zoe Saldana and Vanessa Hudgens.
“You can’t be me, I know your every move,” says Gibson at one point, during a machete battle with Trejo in which he sports a powder-blue shiny suit with built-in flowing white cape. “Nobody knows Machete,” snarls Trejo.