Kanye West probably wasn’t expecting to be celebrate Father’s Day on the daddy end this year. After all, his daughter with Kim Kardashian wasn’t due until July, and the Chicago-born rapper has been in full-on promo mode for his sixth studio album, Yeezus, which despite leaking online Friday, will get its official release on Tuesday.
But, alas, at the dawn of “Yeezus Season” and five weeks early, the pop culture’s most anticipated baby was born on Saturday. Kanye reportedly canceled his appearance at Friday night’s Yeezus release party as well as a rumored appearance at Hot 107.9’s Birthday Bash to be by Kim’s side for the entire birth.
So whether he’s ready for it or not, Yeezy has some celebrating to do. And while the he’s usually pretty tight-lipped about his family life — “This is my baby; this isn’t America’s baby,” he told The New York Times — we have some ideas for what he may want this Father’s Day.
A Throne Armchair
If Kanye has made anything clear on his sixth studio album, it’s that he considers himself a god — he even recruited the big man himself for a feature. Would you get God a $40 necktie for Father’s Day? We didn’t think so. Luckily, the guys over at Design Toscano have crafted this “attention-demanding” full-size replica of King Tut’s throne. And in addition to its “”exquisite” ornamentation, it’s just $1,200, — pocket change compared to West’s $750,000 birthday Lamborghini. We could definitely see ye burping his little one on this thing.
An $11,000 Pair Of Air Jordans
While ’Ye may have opted for opulent labels in his pre-daddy days, Givenchy doesn’t quite suit the diaper-changing lifestyle of a new father. When he’s running around at 4 a.m. to care for his daughter, he’ll need comfortable kicks. And what’s more appropriate for the “Michael Jordan of music” than a slick, all-black pair of Air Jordans? These XI’s sell for just over $11,000 and seem just sleek enough for ’Ye.
A Shopping Spree At Colette
As evidenced by his takeover of Kim’s closet on “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” Kanye loves a good wardrobe. But a Macy’s gift card likely won’t cut it for Yeezus. He’s been spotted at French retailer Colette on many occasions — including running into “House of Style” stars Joan Smalls and Karlie Kloss — and he partnered with them to sell his $6,000 Giuseppe Zanotti shoe. Everyone needs some retail therapy, and French retail therapy seems the only suitable fit for Yeezy.
A Valentino Father/Daughter Ballet Set
While we’re sure Kanye and Kim will let their daughter choose any extracurricular activity she wants, we can’t help but think ’Ye will be strongly encouraging her to pursue ballet. Ballerinas were the main spectacle of his bewitching “Runaway” video, and the music-box invitations to Kim’s baby shower were also ballerina-themed. Valentino made some ornately charming pieces for last year’s New York City Ballet gala, so why not get the famed designer to sketch up daddy/daughter designs? The best ballerinas start young, and Kanye will likely be right by her side to teach her to plie.
Some Damn Croissants
While Yeezus is full of angry, fire-filled themes, perhaps the most viral line was from “I Am a God”: “I am a god, so hurry up with my damn massage / In a French restaurant / Hurry up with my damn croissants.” We think he asked pretty nicely, so can’t someone just run down to the bakery already?