Leave it to President Obama to compare the political mess in Washington to a breakup song by one of today's biggest pop stars. "My charm offensive has helped me learn some interesting things about what's going on in Congress — turns out, absolutely nothing," Obama said during a pop culture-heavy speech at Saturday night's White House Correspondents' Dinner.
"But the point of my charm offensive is simple: We need to make progress on some important issues. Take the sequester: Republicans fell in love with this thing, and now they can't stop talking about how much they hate it. It's like we're trapped in a Taylor Swift album."
But he saved the best punchlines for his unofficial ambassador of hip-hop: Jay-Z. Though the White House has made it clear that the president had nothing to do with clearing Jigga and Beyoncé's recent cultural excursion/anniversary trip to Cuba, Obama cleared up the controversy once and for all.
"Yes, maybe I have lost a step, but some things are out of my control — for example, this whole controversy about Jay-Z going to Cuba," said Obama, who took the stage to DJ Khaled's "All I Do is Win," asking the crowd how they liked his new entrance music.
"It's unbelievable. I've got 99 problems but now Jay-Z is one ... That's another rap reference," he explained to the crowd. The dinner, which is intended as a roast-like night of levity in the nation's typically humorless capitol, included digs at NBC's terrible track record at launching hit shows, a slide show of the commander-in-chief with his new Michelle Obama-like bangs and a playful slap at the night's host, Conan O'Brien, in a bit about how maybe they should have waited five years to see if Jimmy Fallon was available.
Near the end of his speech, Obama shouted out director Steven Spielberg and his "Lincoln" star Daniel Day-Lewis, before debuting the trailer for Spielberg and Day-Lewis' new project, "Obama." The fake film featured Day-Lewis as Obama and Tracy Morgan as Joe Biden.
Well, it was actually Obama playing Obama, but that's just how good a character actor Day-Lewis is. "Why doesn't he get mad? If I were him I'd be mad all the time. But I'm not, I'm Daniel Day-Lewis," said Obama/Day-Lewis about himself.