They say there’s no place like home. We say there’s no place like Oz — not if you’re looking for the best possible host of the MTV Movie Awards, that is. Just ask James Franco, who traveled all the way to Australia to find the host of the 2013 show.
The “Oz the Great and Powerful” star opened the Movie Awards with a trip to Australia — or, as he calls it, “The real Oz, home of my favorite singer, Russell Crowe!” After a lengthy journey, Franco finally stumbled upon Rebel Wilson, “Pitch Perfect” and “Bridesmaids” breakout star, and the “chosen one” when it comes to a certain award ceremony.
“I’ve been sent here to tell you something very important, Rebel: you’ve been chosen,” Franco tells her. Rebel, understandably confused, asks, “To be Tom Cruise’s new wife?” Nice as that would be, Wilson’s been chosen for an even higher calling: to host this year’s MTV Movie Awards.
“But I’m just a fat, simple girl from Australia. The only thing I’ve hosted is this parasitic worm,” says Wilson, gesturing at the aforementioned creature, floating in a nearby jar. “I’m still not sure which hole it came out of,” she admits.
But Franco sees more than that in Rebel. “You may be simple. You may be fat. You may have no boyfriend,” he says, gesturing to the nearby Channing Tatum blowup doll as evidence (“I use it to masturbate,” she defends), “but Rebel, you’re going to be the greatest Australian female host in MTV history!”
Of course, Franco knows a thing or two about hosting movie award shows, having hosted the Oscars some years ago to … ah, interesting reviews . “Hosting is a blast. You’re not going to regret it for a second,” Franco swears with a grin. “Nobody will ever say anything bad about you. It’ll be totally fun and cool.”
At the very least, Rebel’s transportation to the Movie Awards fits the “fun and cool” description: the Iron Mangina, a suit of armor modeled after a certain Avenger. As she suits up and flies off towards the show, Franco is left with a quiet prayer: “I hope she doesn’t explode.”
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Luckily, Wilson makes it to the Movie Awards explosion-free, but not incident-free. She suffers a particularly hard fall as she arrives at the show, shaking her confidence and forcing her to reconsider everything she knows about hosting. “Oh God, there’s a lot of people here,” she thinks aloud in front of the packed audience. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
But the power of a cappella is always a strong motivator. To pick herself up, Wilson reunites with her “Pitch Perfect” co-stars for a musical epic that includes a capella renditions of Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb,” Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” and Alicia Keys’ “Girl on Fire.” That musical number (as well as a chocolate bar) is more than enough to reenergize Rebel, leading the actress into her opening monologue.
“I am a bit surprised that they asked me to host,” she admits aloud as the monologue begins. “And so is MTV — they thought I was Adele.”
Wilson’s speech continues with some other surprising shout-outs — including one to “Lil Kim” and his “missile” in North Korea, and the fact that this year marks the 100th anniversary of the Movie Awards. “The categories have changed over the years,” she jokes. “In 1913, the categories included Best Mustache, Best Woman Tied to a Train Track, and Best Portrayal of a Native American by a White Man. And who can forget the Best Movie of 1913: ‘Django Very Recently Unchained.’ ”
“But this year, in 2013, we have some awesome new categories tonight,” she continued, hyping up Best Shirtless (which almost went by the name “Best Softcore Porn,” according to Wilson) and Best Ginger, a category that awards the winner “a bottle of sunscreen and two visible eyebrows.”