Complaining about lame theme nights on “American Idol” is kind of like griping about that know-nothing dork in your office who always wins the Final Four pool: go ahead, but it’s just gonna keep happening the same way every year.
So far we’ve been spared disco night and haven’t had to sit through songs of inspiration or an evening of Rat Pack retreads. Which means that Wednesday’s (April 10) “A Song I Wish I Had Written” night could either be amazing or yet another stroll down cheddar lane.
The top six — Lazaro Arbos, Janelle Arthur, Candice Glover, Kree Harrison, Amber Holcomb and Angie Miller — will each sing twice (the theme for the other song had not been revealed at press time.) What songs do they wish they’d come up with? We have no idea, but that didn’t stop us from guessing. (Keep in mind, we did this without peeking at each other’s choices, that’s how predictable this season is.)
Lazaro Arbos: Season 12’s weakest link proved he at least kind of gets Queen last week, but he can’t go to that well so soon again. Maybe he’ll travel the Michael Jackson route and milk the emotional/inspirational vote one more time with “Man in the Mirror.” Kaufman
He wishes he wrote every single song in the Mariah Carey back catalog, so he’ll do something from her. Which one? Who cares. Then again, he had success with Queen last week, so maybe he does “The Show Must Go On,” which is ironic since there’s no possible way said show continues on past this week. Montgomery
Kree Harrison: This one is a no-brainer. It’s gotta be a strong country woman, and who is tougher than Miranda Lambert? She could got soft with “The House That Built Me” or big with “Gunpowder & Lead.” Kaufman
It’s either troubling or telling that, after something like 10 weeks, I still have no idea who her favorite artists are … or really, what kind of artist she wants to be. According to her official “Idol” bio, she loves Patsy Cline, so I bet she’ll do “Walkin’ After Midnight” or “I Fall to Pieces.” Montgomery
Candice Glover: Unfortunately, Whitney Houston didn’t really write her own songs, so that’s pretty much out. But Adele does, so the easy answer is “Someone Like You.” Kaufman
How does she re-establish herself in the competition? By proving that she’s the best singer of the bunch … and what song is better for that than Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You”? (She’s already well-versed in the song, too). Montgomery
Janelle Arthur: If it’s JA, it’s gotta be wholesome, sweet and twangy, since she’s about as edgy as a bocci ball. Maybe she’ll cheat and do “I Will Always Love You,” since Dolly Parton wrote it. Kaufman
Any doubt she does anything besides a country song? I bet she wishes she wrote something like Gretchen Wilson’s “Redneck Woman” or Kellie Pickler’s “Red High Heels,” so my pick is one of them. Montgomery
Amber Holcomb: She got here with a surprise cover of Blu Cantrell’s “Hit ’Em Up Style,” but I think Amber will stay with a more conventional choice: Beyoncé’s “Halo.” Kaufman
Since it’s clear she kneels before Queen Bey, she’ll undoubtedly choose something like “Irreplaceable” or “Love On Top.”
Angie Miller: This is a weird one for A Mill, since she has already proven she is a solid songwriter. We know he taste leans toward Paramore, so I can’t see a scenario where she doesn’t tap into Gwen Stefani’s vibe with something like “Simple Kind of Life” or “Underneath it All.”
Hmmm, let’s see … she already did Evanescence and Colton Dixon, so, I suspect she’ll stay in the vaguely Christian vein and do Paramore’s “The Only Exception.” I bet she wishes she wrote that one (chances are she’s already written something similar.) Montgomery
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