Just a few short weeks after Arnold Schwarzenegger's planned action hero comeback, "The Last Stand," bombed at the box office, the legendary Sylvester Stallone drops into theaters today hoping for better luck than his old friend and rival — and he's aiming to hit you right in the head.
Stallone's latest action flick, "Bullet to the Head," comes courtesy of veteran director Walter Hill ("The Warriors"), featuring a well-stacked cast including "Conan" and "Game of Thrones" badass Jason Momoa as an axe-wielding villain. Stallone and Momoa's ferocious fisticuffs are at the forefront of the film's most positive reviews, but other critics have walked away from "Bullet" wishing they could rid the experience from their heads for good.
Read on for a selection of "Bullet to the Head" reviews.
"Based on Alexis Nolent's graphic novel, 'Bullet To The Head' turns on the reliable old Western premise of a white hat and a black hat becoming temporary allies. Working with Hill for the first time—which is incredible, given the exalted stature of both men in '80s action—Sylvester Stallone stars as a hit man who reassures himself that the guys he's taking out are even sleazier than the guys who hire him. All that changes when his employer sends a ruthless goon (Jason Momoa) to wipe him out and Stallone makes his way down to New Orleans to have his revenge. Coming along for the ride is Sung Kang, a Washington D.C. detective who's willing to explore some legal gray areas if it means taking down the Big Boss." — Scott Tobias, The A.V. Club
As Sly As Ever
"Stallone, looking groomed and fit, radiates the aura of a man who is comfortable trampling over the boundaries of society in order to carry out his work (his only rule: no women or children). His confidence is the film's rock-solid center." — Rene Rodriguez, The Miami Herald
The Other Guy
"Kang is overmatched keeping up with even a Stallone who's as old as a Rolling Stone. The classic buddy action pics of the 1980s worked because Danny Glover and Nick Nolte possessed the onscreen straight-man heft to withstand the acting pyrotechnics of Mel Gibson and Eddie Murphy, respectively. Here, we barely notice the little cop tagging along with Stallone." — Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times
The Big, Fat No
"It isn't retro. It isn't cute. It's just an embarrassment. ... There's a place for 'Bullet to the Head' and that's on Superstation at 3 AM when you stumble home from the bar and have enough sense not to start drunk dialing. In 1993." — Jordan Hoffman, Film.com
The Big, Dumb Fun
"In the end, things go boom, punches are thrown, witticisms abound, and there are even a couple moments where cars travel at a high rate of speed. This is like cinematic cotton candy from some small town candy shop — artisinal, sure, and crafted with care and dexterity, but still too overly sweet and sticky to be taken as anything approaching 'food.' To its credit, everyone seems to know exactly what movie they're in and what their roles are meant to be, and it's done without any obnoxious winking or explicit overreaching to nostalgia." — Jason Gorber, Twitch.com
Check out everything we've got on "Bullet to the Head."