In an upcoming episode of VH1’s “Behind the Music,” former Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger is opening up for the first time about her longtime struggle with bulimia. During the episode, which airs Sunday at 9 p.m. ET on VH1, the singer breaks down her battle with the eating disorder.
“I did it every day for, like, years,” Scherzinger said. “Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.”
“I just hated myself,” Scherzinger continued. “I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.”
She opens up about a particular photo shoot, her first with the group, which required her to wear nothing more than a bra, underwear and garters. She recalled, “I was not comfortable with my body.” The episode also features some of her former PCD cohorts, including fellow former member Ashley Roberts and founder Robin Antin, who also remember watching the singer suffer during that time period.
Scherzinger endured the condition for eight years and is now opening up about it. “It’s embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know. I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction,” she says. “It’s like when I got offstage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.”
Her admission comes at a very interesting time, as the debate over body image issues wages on. Last month, Black Eyed Peas’ frontwoman Fergie shut down pregnancy rumors after speculation about her waistline.
“[People ask if I’m pregnant] every time I fluctuate a few pounds,” she told Rachael Ray on her talk show. “Like right now, I’m a couple pounds up. Sometimes I go a couple pounds down and I wear the clothes that are more fitted, but people kind of look at me because they’re expecting [that] it’s that time. We do hope for children and that will be coming up, but it’s not yet.”
Demi Lovato has also been candid about her own struggles with eating disorders, even letting MTV cameras in during the special, “Stay Strong,” which followed the singer/actress in her post-recovery life.
“I’ve just been working at it a day at a time and have been trying to continue to fight my hardest,” she shared back in March. “And I’ve had my ups and downs, and I’m still trying, but overall, it’s been a really great journey, and I’m thankful for everything that I’ve been through.”
But, no one has been more vocal about her body image as of late than Lady Gaga, who has opened up about her issues with eating disorders after she received criticism for a perceived weight gain while on tour. By launching Body Revolution 2012 , she hoped to empower fans by posting vulnerable photos on LittleMonsters.com. Experts working with those suffering from eating disorders commended Gaga’s efforts.
“It’s really fantastic when people like Lady Gaga are in that really public position [and] are willing to say something about it and point out the harm that it does and talk about it from a perspective from how it influences everybody,” Susie Roman, director of programs at the National Eating Disorders Association, told MTV News.
Gaga shared, “Be brave and celebrate with us your ‘perceived flaws,’ as society tells us. May we make our flaws famous, and thus redefine the heinous.”