Of course, some folks quickly noticed that, on the same day the site launched, RiRi’s label, Universal Music, also took ownership of several other sites, including Rihanna7Wonders.com and Rihanna7WorldWonders.com — leading to speculation that they had inadvertently revealed the title of her new album.
At press time, there’s been no official word from Rihanna’s reps, but we’re not going to let that stand in the way of some good old-fashioned guesswork. While the whole “7 Wonders” thing could mean she was about to launch some sort of globe-spanning viral campaign, that seems like a whole lot of work, both for Rihanna and her fans, which is why we’re going out on a limb and assuming she’s calling her new album 7 Wonders (since 7 World Wonders doesn’t really roll off the tongue). See, sometimes “journalism” is a piece of cake.
And while you could assume that title is a tribute to 7 Wonders of the Ancient World, only one of them remains (the Great Pyramid of Giza, duh!), which means RiRi probably couldn’t tell the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus from the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus.
So what does her new album title mean? Shoot, you’ve got us, so here are some other seven-specific titles she could have gone with instead:
Se7en: A concept album about a serial killer with a serious biblical obsession, it concludes with “What’s in the Box?!?,” a song about receiving Nicki Minaj’s head in a cardboard carton. And you thought Rated R was dark.
The Seventh Seal: Rihanna plays a game of chess against the personification of death. It’s w-a-a-y symbolic, not to mention incredibly Swedish, though not in the Max Martin kind of way.
Seventh Son of a Seventh Son: This is just a note-for-note remake of Iron Maiden’s 2002 album.
The Seven: Her tribute to MTV’s “TRL” follow-up, which left the airwaves in 2011. Fun fact: She actually performed on the premiere episode , but you already knew that, right?
Seven of Nine: Rihanna outs herself as a closeted sci-fi fan. Hey, we were big fans of Jeri Ryan too!
Dan Severn: An album about one of the toughest dudes in the universe, UFK Hall of Famer Dan “The Beast” Severn, perhaps the only man bad enough to make a mustache like this work.
Windows 7: Shoot, anything’s better than Windows Vista.