When Fiona Apple suggested she had been a victim of "possibly illegal" police activity during her recent arrest in Texas for drug possession, it was only a matter of time before the local authorities involved in the incident responded to Apple's allegations. And respond they did, in a direct (if slightly tongue-in-cheek) manner.
When MTV News contacted the Hudspeth County Sheriff's department in Sierra Blanca, Texas, for comment, their response urged Apple to file an ethical complaint to internal affairs or contact the state attorney general's office — instead of airing her grievances onstage. The department's public information officer, Rusty Fleming, even included a personal note to the singer/songwriter.
"First- Honey, I'm already more famous than you, I don't need your help. However, it would appear that you need mine," the statement reads, alleging that Apple's career needed a boost from Fleming and the office's previous drug-related arrests of celebrities. "Have you ever heard of Snoop [Dogg], Willie [Nelson] or Armand Hammer? Maybe if you would read something besides your own press releases, you would have known BEFORE you got here, that if you come to Texas with dope, the cops will take your DOPE away and put YOU in jail."
Fleming concludes his statement with a backhanded compliment to stick to her day job.
"Even though you and I only met briefly in the hallway, I don't know you but I'm sure you're an awesome and talented young woman," he wrote. "I'm sure that [your fans] would just as soon you get this all behind you and let you go back to what you do best — so my last piece of advice is simple 'just shut-up and sing.' Sincerely, Rusty Fleming."
Apple alleged that there were four officers who acted inappropriately, an allegation she made via an elaborate explanation to the crowd of her recent show in Houston, a profanity-laced rant that was unsurprisingly documented and posted on YouTube. No word on whether Apple has pressed formal charges herself or followed the directions as issued by the Hudspeth County Sheriff's Office.