UNIVERSAL CITY, California — We’re not sure how it happened, but at some point in the last year or so, Hollywood decided that archery was the archaic skill du jour. With movies like “The Hunger Games,” “The Avengers” and “Snow White and the Huntsman” arming their characters with bows and arrows, someone was going to have to teach these actors how to handle their weapons.
Unfortunately, that man was Lester Boonshaft.
“It’s about taking all that focus and energy and releasing those juices in one explosion … like diarrhea,” said Boonshaft, sharing just one nugget of his archery skills.
But Boonshaft is not the fantastic coach that he makes himself out to be. “Lester Boonshaft was hired to be my archery teacher for ‘The Hunger Games,’ ” Lawrence said. “Did I find it out that an archery teacher didn’t know how to hold a bow and arrow? Yeah.”
Abrams, one of the highest-profile directors working today, had his own negative things to say about Boonshaft. “There’s this whole Klingon archery subplot in the new ‘Star Trek’ that I completely cut out so I didn’t have to work with him,” he said.
Boonshaft didn’t mince words when it came to Abrams. “I love everything J.J. has done except for his films and TV shows.”
But Boonshaft’s offenses go beyond his lack of archery skill. “I made the mistake of giving Lester my phone number,” Lawrence said. “At first, he would just call and give me tips about archery. Now, it’s just this.” She held up a cell phone screen too dirty for basic cable.
“I don’t even know what part of the body that is.”
“That’s my d—,” Boonshaft said.
Regardless of what Abrams and Lawrence had to say about Boonshaft, he did offer Lawrence real advice on the set of “The Hunger Games.” “Oh, it’s me, Lester Boonshaft,” said Lawrence, mockingly. “And if you hold the bow and arrow like this and put your shoulders back, it makes your tits look better.”
“Was I wrong?” Boonshaft asked.
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