Oliver Cooper wants your vote!
The “Project X” star is nominated for a couple of MTV Movie Awards, but it’s the Best Onscreen Dirtbag prize that he’s really after. While promoting this year’s awards show, Cooper petitioned America for their vote.
“Listen. Is America listening right now? I want you to vote for me for Best Onscreen Dirtbag because, truly, I am a dirtbag,” he said.
This isn’t the first time Cooper has tried to swing the vote. But instead of pointing out why the other contenders — including Colin Farrell, Jon Hamm and Jennifer Aniston — shouldn’t get the award, he explains why he thinks he should.
“I f—ed up an entire neighborhood. I didn’t care about my friends. I still don’t care about those guys, OK? What else did I do in that movie? I don’t even remember. It’s all a blur. I don’t even care about the movie — that’s how much of a dirtbag I am,” he said. “I just want that goddamn popcorn, so I can have a career.”
That’s when things start to get a little sad. Cooper explains how he’s at the brink of bursting out into Hollywood and needs a Golden Popcorn to help get him there.
“Everybody else out there, they’ve got careers, they’re doing movies all over the world. Me? I’m living with my aunt right now. In Encino,” he said. “I’m Jewish, but I haven’t been to temple in over three years. Honestly, I’m a little confused. I don’t have a girlfriend. Recently, the girls I’ve been seeing, they don’t even speak English. Seriously. And that’s because I don’t want to talk to them.”
And that’s where it all comes together for Cooper: managing to make us feel bad for him while reviling him at the same time.
“I’m a dirtbag,” he promised. “I’m America’s dirtbag.”