“I felt relieved when I found out. Like I’m not completely crazy; there’s a medical reason for all of it,” Lovato says in the July issue. “It’s a daily thing; you don’t get time off from it. And if I feel myself slipping back into old patterns, I have to ask others for help, which is hard for me to learn, because I really like doing everything on my own.”
The new “X Factor” judge
revealed earlier this year in her MTV documentary “Demi
Lovato: Stay Strong” that her issues manifested themselves in self-harm, including an eating disorder and self-medicating that resulted in a stay at the Timberline Knolls treatment facility in Illinois.
“I had so many issues that were underneath, that needed to be taken care of, and we kept putting Band-Aids over it. It literally drove me insane. I was not eating, and purging, and self-harming. It was really difficult to be able to stop,” Lovato recalled to MTV . “This is a daily battle that I will face for the rest of my life. Everyone kind of made me a role model, and I hated that. I was partying, I was self-medicating. I was always stressing out. I felt like I was living a lie. I felt guilt and shame. I decided to take it out on myself. I harmed myself. It was my way of taking my own shame and my own guilt out on myself, and I was just depressed.”
Having gotten the help she needed and with her new high-profile gig on “The X Factor” opposite Britney Spears, the pop star is back on the right path now, and she tells Cosmopolitan that she sees herself with a family in the not-too-distant future. “I want to be married with kids in 10 years,” Lovato revealed.
The 19-year-old singer/actress’ past struggles have given her a new perspective on dating as well, teaching her that she should not rush to judgment when it comes to guys — with the exception of one characteristic that she simply will not abide.
“I don’t have many deal breakers. I’ve done so much in my life, it doesn’t feel right to judge other people,” Lovato tells the mag. “Oh, I know one quality I won’t tolerate. I would never be with a guy who is controlling.”