Like most of our fellow "Twilight" fans, we spend a lot of time thinking about and overanalyzing the mythical world Stephenie Meyer created and the record-breaking film franchise it spawned. And even though we still have too many months to wait to see "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2," the wait was made slightly less painful this week due to a couple of new trailer teases.
Since we've had the series on the brain more than usual this week, along with the countless stories about "The Hunger Games" reaching "Twilight"-level numbers, I've decided to philosophize my way through this week's "Twilight" Tuesday with the question: If the Cullens and the wolf pack were featured in a "Hunger Games"-style, fight-to-the-death tournament organized by the Volturi (of course), who would come out a victor?
The first thing to address is who would be reaped into the tournament? And how many? If we go with 24, the ranks are difficult to fill out due to a lack of named weres. Nevertheless, here are the contenders (including a few of those who don't live through the end of the series): Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Carlisle Cullen, Esme Cullen, Alice Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Renesmee Cullen, Sam Uley, Quil Ateara V, Embry Call, Paul Lahote, Jared Cameron, Leah Clearwater, Seth Clearwater, Collin Littlesea, Brady Fuller, James, Victoria, Laurent, Riley Biers and one of the unnamed wolves from the end of "Breaking Dawn" who show up as part of Sam's pack. Whew.
Now, who will be defeated and how? My colleague Katie Byrne makes the very astute point that the Cullens are total pacifists and will not kill each other, no matter what. I say that Jasper might be the one to crack, since he doesn't always have total control over his actions, but the rest of the Cullens will probably rein him in and quarantine him or something. Also, as much as it pains me to admit it, the vampires will likely outlast the werewolves (confession: I prefer wolves to vamps), particularly the Cullens with their supernatural abilities. But again, would the Cullens allow the seemingly needless fights-to-the-death to happen? This is a Volturi-created death match after all, so they might make like the end of "Breaking Dawn - Part 2" and save everyone. Except for James, Victoria, Laurent and Riley, of course.
Ms. Byrne argues that if the Volturi did somehow succeed in making the tournament end in death and destruction, the Cullens would all join hands, eat a few handfuls of nightlock (assuming that the poisonous berry also works on non-humans), and end the "Games" with a civilized, non-bloody mass suicide. Or the Volturi might recognize the Cullens' value (just like the Gamemakers did) and let them live — under the constant threat of death and destruction, that is.
Who do you think would win the "Twilight" Hunger Games? Share your thoughts in the comments or tweet me @karawarner with your theories!
Check out everything we've got on "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2."
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