It's episode five! Of season five! And here are my top five "Jersey Shore" moments!
5. New Jersey Ink
Vinny's back in the house, and the Situation seems to be inspired by his new tattoo.
As Sitch confusingly explains — for what seems like an eternity — how he plans to get "loyalty" and "betrayal" tats on his forearms, Ronnie stares at the camera blankly. Ron, you took the words right out of my mouth.
4. The Situation's Situation
The Situation got a little ... paranoid ... and decided to get to the bottom of all the drama in the house. His method? Ranting at the girls while wearing no pants.
"Why is everybody always focusing on Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike?" he yells.
I don't know, maybe because you're running around screaming with your di-- hanging out?!?
3. Deena Gets Zapped!
After Deena is electrocuted by her hair dryer, she proceeds to ask Sammi if electrocution makes you brain crazy.
So that's her excuse? But at the very least, this shock inspired Deena and Sammi to re-examine their stance on capital punishment ... except not really.
2. Warm Beer + Snooki's Face
Speaking of questionable American traditions, Snooki began rehearsals for her daring one-woman vaudeville act! As the gang plays a game of Warm Beer — is that a thing? — Ron covers Snooki's face with soot like she's in blackface. Woof.
I had no idea Snooki was such a Ted Danson fan!
Snooki pees at a club, on the porch and at a bar — and discusses her urinary tract infection. You know what that means — time for a "Jersey Shore" Peeeemix!