‘Glee’-Cap: Michael Jackson Invades McKinley High

King of Pop's takeover leads to some head-scratching song choices.

“Glee” paid tribute to Michael Jackson during Tuesday night’s episode and, shockingly, kept the story moving along in the midst of several MJ-inspired musical numbers. Kurt, Rachel and Quinn all received great news about college, Rachel finally accepted Finn’s proposal and evil Sebastian’s plot to harm Kurt with a doctored slushee backfired when Blaine took the hit for his boyfriend.

Yet the forced “all Michael, all the time” song selection led to some head-scratching scenes including Kurt, Rachel and Finn serenading an injured Blaine with Jackson’s love song to a rat, “Ben,” and two different music-video re-enactments only appealed to Jackson superfans. The rest of us can enjoy my latest “Glee-cap”! Hit play on the embedded video and sing along with these lyrics.

“Glee,” “Glee” ‘s really hit the skids
MJ would have loved all the singing kids

Time for a tribute
Veiled as a dispute
They all imitate
Michael’s vocal takes

Wish they didn’t try
To simply ape his sigh
I guess “Glee” got paid
In tickets to Cirque du Soleil

It’s bad! It’s bad! Come on!

Oh, pointless themed episodes
Make me push fast-forward on my TiVo

Artie’s “Scream” remake
Complete with head shakes
Tired of getting dissed
Mike Chang’s now his sis?

Warblers fight for songs
No prob doing wrong
They’re all blindly cruel
Since Blaine left their school

Quinn sang goodbye to every ex
Have a seat, this’ll take awhile
(She’s had lots of sex)
Quinn got into Yale
And I’m all, “How?”
Then got distracted by Damian’s hyper eyebrows

They’re bad! They’re bad! Relax them!
If you don’t, I will come wax them!

Slutpig tried to slushee Kurt
But Blaine got in the way
Left him needing surgery
How dare you hurt my gay!
Despite Blaine’s cute eye patch
Kurt is hungry for revenge
But that’s a different better show on ABC, my friend

“Glee,” drop the shtick, you’re better than this
Forcing Jackson songs is just as bad as this forced kiss
Just because you can afford it doesn’t mean it has worth
Unless you’re trying to give me nightmares
In that case, it worked

No more bells and whistles, please
Clever songs are all you need
I get it, Ryan Murphy, Blaine had to bleed
So Darren could star in “How to Succeed”

But making Kurt and Finchel sing “Ben” to Blaine
Is the very definition of insane
I hope next week they get it right
With no stupid guests hogging “Glee” ‘s spotlight

[Cue clip of next week's episode starring Ricky Martin]

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