The Situation's back and he got a Hugh Hefner-themed surprise party, what with the strippers and the wheelchairs. Here now, my five favorite moments from this week's "Jersey Shore."
5. Hungover Situation
You can't get any more DTF than a stripper, right? Wrong. Just ask the Situation, who brought home one of his party favors.
"I don't even remember her name. It might as well be A-nita because all night she was saying 'I need a cigarette. I need French toast.' Well I need you to get the hell out of my house!"
I think Hungover Situation is my favorite Situation. On the other hand, dude, she's a stripper who never actually took her clothes off. That's like being mad at your anorexic friend for giving you a crappy restaurant recommendation.
4. Old Man
With Vinny gone, Danny the T-shirt guy is looking to find a new employee/housemate and made J-Woww write up a "Help Wanted" sign after she tore down the first one.
J-Woww says, "What should the sign say, because Danny's being a douche ..."
"You should write, 'See old man inside for details!' " the Situation laughs.
The Situation - 1, Danny - 0.
The Situation walks away, and J-Woww says under her breath, "But then people would think they should talk to you."
The Situation - 1, J-Woww - 1,000,000!!
3. Operation Rescue Vinny!
What better way to help a guy with anxiety than to crowd him, shout loud things in his ear and bum-rush him in the comfort of his own home?!
Um ... get better Vinny!
2. Crack Is Wack!
In all seriousness, Vinny was happy to jump in the car and return to Seaside with his roomies. Too bad they nearly died on the way back ...
[They moon each other. Snooki sees "a ball." They all scream.]
Don't drink and drive. Don't text and drive. Don't try to blind people with your ugly-ass ass and drive.
1. Funny Bunnies
Gotta hand it to MTV. Always looking to lure in new audiences for their programming. This week they dedicated a segment entirely to furries!
Amazing. Let's just hope she doesn't pull that on Vinny for a few days.