With Vinny gone, the “Jersey Shore” cast spiraled out of control! Deena danced so hard that her hair extensions needed to be surgically removed, Snooki was half a body shot away from the morgue, and the Situation “left the show” because nobody cared that it was birthday. Here are my five favorite moments from this week’s “Jersey Shore”:
5. A Tribute to the Fallen
This week’s episode picked up where last week’s left off. Vinny went home to Staten Island to calm down after his anxiety flare-ups. You know, re-charge his batteries and get away from reality-TV cameras for a while. Wait, what? MTV sent a camera crew home with him? Get better, Vinny!
Back in Seaside, Vinny’s housemates paid tribute to their fallen comrade in unique ways.
Ron? “In honor of Vinny, I’m wearing skinny jeans!” Sweet! Respectful! Well done, Ron.
How about you, Pauly? “I’m gonna smash this girl in Vinny’s bed in honor of Vinny leaving the house.” That’s … something!
Snooki and Deena, you’re up next! “Meatball day! I love gay dudes! You can dance with them, and then at the end of the night, you’re not expected to give them …” — well, you get the idea. Forget Harvey Milk. I think the gay-rights movement has a new hero.
And last but not least: the Situation, who honored Vinny by leaving the house! Except, instead of walking out for mental-health reasons, he did so because his castmates didn’t make him a birthday cake. America, don’t pay attention to the millionaire toddler having a temper tantrum.
4. Mrs. Sitch
Speaking of the Situation, he might be on the path to “wife-ing” perennial hookup Paula. And if it happens, I vote Sammi as maid of honor.
To quote Sammi: “I like Paula. She might be dirty and grimy and skanky and disgusting, but she’s pretty cool.”
To the happy couple!
3. Presented Without Comment
Deena: “I know I’m not the smartest crayon out of the box but this isn’t rocket scientists. We can start a party!”
2. Snooki the Word Nerd
Snooki learned a new word! “My ass is protruding! Protruding!”
Careful, Snooks! Don’t wake up the scary ancient vocabulary monster!
“It’s the word of the day: ‘protruding.’ Let’s use it all day.”
JWoww asks, “In what context?”
[Cut to Madonna's "20/20" interview: "Look it up."]
Alas, the vocab monster is now awake.
1. How Do You Say “DTF” in Bosnian?
On Pauly’s b-day, fellow birthday boy Mike passed off a hot Bosnian girl to his buddy. But as soon as she got back to the house, it became painfully obvious that when “Jersey Shore” airs in Bosnia, they cut out all the sex stuff.
[The Bosnian girl wants to talk all night rather than hooking up and is confused why other girls are there. Pauly gets mad, calls her a cab home and kicks her out.]
First a war, now this. Will Bosnia ever catch a break?