In spite of some predictable results ("The Artist" wins everything! Again!) and a far tamer-than-expected performance from returning host Ricky Gervais, there were some moments at the 2012 Golden Globes worth standing up and saluting — from victories for a handful of small-screen underdogs to appearances from real-life dogs.
Of course, there were other moments we would just as soon forget. Read on for our list of the best and worst of Sunday's (January 15) Globes!
Best Penis Joke: Seth Rogen
On a night peppered with lewd, "members only" humor that included Madonna trying to steal a smooch from Gervais and George Clooney offering "Shame" star Michael Fassbender a few golf tips, it was "50/50" comedian Seth Rogen who came out swinging with the most shocking one-liner of the night. Rogen called attention to his "concealed erection" while standing next to Kate Beckinsale, and it's a good thing she wasn't in character as "Underworld" badass Selene, or else that joke may have ended very, very differently.
This year's Globes gave Dinklage yet another deserved win for playing Tyrion Lannister on "Game of Thrones." But the actor didn't simply accept his award, he sent every viewer with access to the Internet straight to the Web with instructions to Google Martin Henderson. No, he did not mean the "Torque" actor. Instead, Dinklage successfully called attention to a dwarf-tossing victim in England, using the Globes as a platform to highlight a greater issue.
Least Prepared Winner: Meryl Streep
When you hold the record for receiving the most Golden Globe nominations of any actor in history, one would think you'd be a bit more prepared when an award actually came your way. During Sunday night's broadcast, however, Streep was genuinely stunned by her Best Actress victory for "The Iron Lady." In a discombobulated acceptance speech, she thanked actors who weren't even nominated for awards and dragged on for way too frakkin' long. Meryl, we love you, but please: a little preparation goes a long way. At this point in your storied career, there's really no excuse for getting played off the stage.
Biggest Mistake: The "Boss" Wins Over Walter White
No disrespect intended to the former Frasier Crane, who has ruled the small screen in many incarnations over the years. Grammar's work on Starz's freshman drama "Boss" is worth acclaim, no doubt, but is it worth more than "Breaking Bad" star Bryan Cranston's continued excellence as chemistry teacher-turned-meth cook? Not a chance. Four years into the AMC thriller and Cranston continues to top himself with every episode in his role as Walter White. He is the danger, and there's no question that he should have won the Globe this year.
Spot-On Award: "Homeland"
On the flip side, voters got it right by awarding Showtime's "Homeland" with two major awards: one for Best Drama and one to Claire Danes for Best Actress in a TV Drama. Danes' mentally unstable counterterrorism agent Carrie Mathison is one of the most original and moving lead characters to hit the small screen in recent years, and the actress' victory in this category is more than deserved. Likewise, the series itself was one of the brightest TV offerings of 2011, absolutely required viewing for anyone fascinated by the world of espionage and the War on Terror.
Best Dog: Uggie, "The Artist"
In a year dominated by awesome movie dogs, Jack from "The Artist" — played by Uggie the Jack Russell terrier — was the only one respectful enough to actually show up to the Golden Globes. By default, Uggie wins our inaugural Best Dog award. To the other canines: shame on you for staying home.