'Glee'-Cap: Kurt Embraces His Inner Unicorn

But does he really have to face off against boyfriend Blaine for the lead in the play?

"Glee" was back to its identity-crisis ways Tuesday, switching up ages, story lines and emotions in the latest episode, "I Am Unicorn." But why talk about it when we can sing about it? To the musical "Glee"-cap!

I wish "Glee" made up its mind

They change the rules and it's unkind

Ryan Murphy first told the press that Blaine's older

But now he is a year behind

It's hard to keep my bearings straight

And oh, how it makes my heart ache

Kurt and Blaine were gonna move to New York together

But now they'll have to wait

F--- you, "Glee," this makes no sense

You're messing with my Klaine and I'm incensed

Now they're rivals for the lead in the play

If only Kurt can tone down the gay

No way!

Screw you, "Glee," why hurt your fans?

I need a Ph.D. in bullsh-- to understand

The show can't be fantasy

While also grounded in harsh reality

That means a battle over custody

Doesn't appeal to me

Just sayin'

Another chorus has begun

Sugar's dad supplies the funds

Don't get too attached, you know what'll happen

By November she'll be gone

[cough] Charice [cough]

We are Gleeks, we see it all!

You can't pull a fast one between spring and fall

Last year Bieste talked gender themes

Now she's laughing at Kurt for being a queen — puh-leaze!

Damn you, "Glee," in the end you're right

The big music numbers shined oh so bright

Rachel singing with her estranged mom

Holy crap, look at his arms!

Kurt's audition's full of charm

And so plucky!

He's a bendable son of a gun

Blaine's so lucky!

I get it, "Glee" writers, you need conflict

Just make it consistent and I'll give a sh--

One last request: Make Shelby go away

Entitled Gleek!

What did you think of the latest "Glee"? Let us know in the comments below — no singing required!