This week on “American Idol,” the top six sang from the Carole King songbook, but the real theme of the night was showmances: Casey and Haley! Lauren and Scotty! Lauren and … this dude [random audience guy]! Lauren and Steven Tyler! [Clip of Steven Tyler with a little blond toddler on his lap.] Damn, girl, are you trying to audition for “The Real World” or something?
But if we’re talking musical promiscuity, Casey Abrams was the real “Hi De Ho.” Pianos, trumpets, saxes, harmonicas … The only thing he didn’t hook up with was a melody.
Sit, Ubu, sit! Good dog. [Footage of Casey screaming plays with the sound of the Ubu “bark” from that ’80s sitcom vanity plate.]
James Durbin had his best week yet but the brightest star on “Idol” was crazy Penny Marshall. [Jim is in a blond wig and sunglasses]. She is my inspiration.
I want to be her friend, I want to be Scotty’s friend, and I really want to be Haley’s fu-uh-riend, too.
Yo, Randy, why don’t we “turn the other cheek” to Thursday night’s results show, where Jimmy Iovine gave his two cents, and Haley told him where he could shove his two cents!
[Clip: Seacrest introduces Crystal Bowersox, but then the camera cuts to a burly male harmonica player.]
Whoa, Crystal really let herself go, didn’t she? But Arrested Development hasn’t aged a bit! [Footage of Bruno Mars and his 45-piece backing band, who were all sitting on a couch.]
There’s your fake bottom three [the last contestants standing], there’s your real bottom three [Lauren, Casey and Jacob sitting on the couch from earlier in the episode].
[Jim holds out a microphone as if he’s a sports reporter on the field after the Super Bowl.] Hey, Casey Abrams! You just got cut from “Idol” for the second time. What are you going to do now?
[Jim shouts in a Casey voice.] “I’m going to Creepy World!” [Footage of him grabbing girls by the back of the neck and pulling them in for a kiss during his farewell performance.]
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