This week on "American Idol," the top six sang from the Carole King songbook, but the real theme of the night was showmances: Casey and Haley! Lauren and Scotty! Lauren and ... this dude [random audience guy]! Lauren and Steven Tyler! [Clip of Steven Tyler with a little blond toddler on his lap.] Damn, girl, are you trying to audition for "The Real World" or something?
But if we're talking musical promiscuity, Casey Abrams was the real "Hi De Ho." Pianos, trumpets, saxes, harmonicas ... The only thing he didn't hook up with was a melody.
Sit, Ubu, sit! Good dog. [Footage of Casey screaming plays with the sound of the Ubu "bark" from that '80s sitcom vanity plate.]
James Durbin had his best week yet but the brightest star on "Idol" was crazy Penny Marshall. [Jim is in a blond wig and sunglasses]. She is my inspiration.
I want to be her friend, I want to be Scotty's friend, and I really want to be Haley's fu-uh-riend, too.
Yo, Randy, why don't we "turn the other cheek" to Thursday night's results show, where Jimmy Iovine gave his two cents, and Haley told him where he could shove his two cents!
[Clip: Seacrest introduces Crystal Bowersox, but then the camera cuts to a burly male harmonica player.]
Whoa, Crystal really let herself go, didn't she? But Arrested Development hasn't aged a bit! [Footage of Bruno Mars and his 45-piece backing band, who were all sitting on a couch.]
There's your fake bottom three [the last contestants standing], there's your real bottom three [Lauren, Casey and Jacob sitting on the couch from earlier in the episode].
[Jim holds out a microphone as if he's a sports reporter on the field after the Super Bowl.] Hey, Casey Abrams! You just got cut from "Idol" for the second time. What are you going to do now?
[Jim shouts in a Casey voice.] "I'm going to Creepy World!" [Footage of him grabbing girls by the back of the neck and pulling them in for a kiss during his farewell performance.]
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