"American Idol" tackled "Songs from the Cinema" this week but the theme may as well have been Déjà Vu. Between the judges' overwhelmingly positive reviews and the contestants' "just OK" performances, season 10 is becoming a weekly exercise in repetition. Hell, even will.i.am returned as a guest mentor to talk about "snatching" Pia's votes and making muffins. (Good luck deciphering that advice, Lauren Alaina!)
Casey Abrams aimed for the stars with a scat-tastic exploration of jazz but he ended up at about 500 feet above sea level instead, even if the judges drooled over the idea of a "jazz
'Idol,' " much to the chagrin of Jimmy Iovine, who urged Casey to stop being such a frickin' music geek.
Actually, if there was a B-plot to movie night, it was that the male contestants consistently told Jimmy Iovine to "talk to the hand." Songs were switched, arrangements were fought and, in the end, viewers shrugged. So much for a happy ending.
But the suspense was all about whether "Idol" fans would vote off yet another woman. The judges made it easy for voters to hate on the ladies some more when they gave Haley Reinhart an out-of-left-field negative review, the first piece of criticism in what felt like months. (That Haley stole the results show thanks to a dazzling duet, out-jazzing Mr. Jazzy Pants Abrams, was a delicious middle finger to the producers and judges who encouraged her demise just 24 hours earlier.)
That feeling of XY favoritism inspired an especially boys-clubby "American Idol" in 60 Seconds recap. Watch the embedded video for the good ol' boys attitude, and if you miss a word or two, you can read along in the script below:
This week the top eight performed songs from the movies, and everyone was perfect ... ly average.
[Clip: will.i.am says, "Snatch 'em!"]
Hmmm, will.i.am, over-praised mediocrity, Jacob Lusk has an attitude ... Did "Idol" air a repeat this week?
Thank god the judges randomly ganged up on Haley. I mean, a girl?! On "American Idol"?! That will never be successful!
[Superstar Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel" music video plays on Jim's TV monitor. He sees it, tries to turn it off. The channel changes to Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" video. Whoops. He tries to distract from the successful females with one last channel change — this will undermine his whole argument! — but it switches to Lee DeWyze's "Sweet Serendipity" video. Jim has no choice but to shove the TV out of frame.]
It wasn't Zakk Wylde. It wasn't Casey's educational jazzzzz-uh. The night's best performance had to be ...
[Clip: Lauren Alaina bellows out a note from "The Climb."]
[Clip: Scotty sings with a smirk.]
[Clip: Jacob Lusk begins to sing one note. Jim cuts him off.]
Yeah, OK, why don't we just skip ahead to the results show?
[Clip: Steven Tyler says, "Thanks for whipping that out tonight!"]
Wouldn't you know it, judges? The girl you bashed, Haley, actually sings jazz better than the dude who received a standing ovation!
And then heavens parted and God came home.
[Kelly Clarkson makes a sexually suggestive joke about how men like to "just get right to it."]
Psshhh, women. Am I right, producers?
[Clip: Paul is eliminated.]
Wait, I don't understand! That can't be! Unless ... does this mean Paul is secretly ... a lady?!
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