This week's "Jersey Shore" was all about awkward silences and drama at the club. In other words, it was like every episode of "The Hills" ever. Here are our five favorite moments!
5. Snooki the Bartender
Snooki's hometown buddy Ryder came to visit and it was time to drink! Common sense and taste buds, be damned! They scoured the kitchen for something, anything, to put in their cocktails. They considered using olive oil, peanut butter, coconut milk, marinara sauce, cottage cheese, olives and ice cream. Also known as a barftini. In all honesty, wouldn't you rather drink that concoction versus Ron Ron Juice?
4. Charlie the Lobster
Angelina's no longer with us, so the gang celebrated with a lobster dinner. And when JWoww and Snooki got all animal rights activisty, they decided to keep one lobster as a pet and feed him "insects or something." (Chef Snooki rides again!)
Unfortunately, the girls didn't realize that if they submerged their new lobster friend in tap water, the saltwater creature would keel over. He survived the "Jersey Shore" house almost as long as Angelina did season one.
3. Vinny Gets Romantic
Remember that girl who stood up Vinny? The one he wanted to marry? Well, he was stupid enough to make plans with her again. This time she actually showed up ... only a couple hours late. Upon her tardy arrival, Vinny embraced her and lovingly said, "I'm gonna strangle you." Obviously the dude's reading from "Mel Gibson's Guide to Females" handbook.
2. Situation the Jerk
What was up with the Situation this week? Between aggressively groping girls in the club, trying to steal Vinny's girlfriend and smacking Snooki in the face when she didn't want to go home, "Dancing With the Stars" might want to give him a new phone number next week: 1-868-A-HOLE
1. Sammi the Smotherer
With Angelina gone, who's going to constantly whine about not having any friends in the house? Oh, right, Sammi. She refused to make nice with JWoww, opting instead to obsessively tug on her own hair extensions and ponder, "I'm on my own completely and it sucks 'cause now what am I gonna do? Be up in Ron's ass all the time? I don't want to do that!" Little does she realize that she's already up Ronnie's ass as far as she can without sprouting out the top of his scalp like hair.
What was your favorite "Jersey Shore" moment this week? Leave a comment below or tweet me @jambajim!
Don't miss "Jersey Shore" every Thursday at 10 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.