This week’s “Jersey Shore” was the gift that kept on giving. We had Snooki’s ideal man checklist (“Must dress like me” — wait, you want a dude in a short skirt and a thong?!), we had the Situation’s girlfriend picking out sex pajamas before even heading to the club, and we had enough shouts of “T-shirt tiiiiiiime” to have that stupid song in our head for another month. Plus, Angelina said “goodbye” to the “Jersey Shore” house (again!).
Here are five other moments that had me roaring.
5. Canadians Do It Better
The Situation found his perfect girl in Samantha, the Canadian club gal he met last week. Why is Samantha From Up North so perfect for Mike? Well, she fights off other girls who want to get with Mike’s abs, she likes a good post-coital egg sandwich just like the boys and, most importantly, she’s a screamer.
The sex was so hot (and loud) that Mike exclaimed “I love Canada” to home viewers after he was done smashing it. So congratulations, Alanis Morissette, Celine Dion, Avril Lavigne, Anne Murray and Justin Bieber. You are now the Situation’s type: Canadian chicks!
4. Pauly D and Vinny’s Duet
Step aside, Rihanna and Eminem. Your collabo is about to get sidelined by the new hit from Pauly D and Vinny, “Hair Song.” The verse goes a little something like: “I got a big blowout/ When I have no gel/ I can let my ’fro out/ I take my big boat out!”
Admit it, their ditty has better lyrics than most Ke$ha songs.
3. What the Hell Is Ronnie Doing Here?
No, seriously. Did any of you guys catch Ronnie undoing his pants at the club? It’s a blink-and-you-missed-it moment that’s worth rewinding your DVR for. Seriously, what the hell was Ronnie doing? I certainly hope he wasn’t trying to fist-pump with a body part other than his fist, if you catch my drift.
2. Wake Up!
Coming soon to electronic stores everywhere: the Pauly D Alarm Clock! At least that’s what Ronnie thinks should happen. You just know the MTV marketing department is raising an eyebrow to the idea. Think about it. Pauly does have a penchant for waking up the roommates with high-energy “rise and shines.” Maybe Ronnie’s onto something here. Good thing we own him and his ideas, thanks to the MTV contract. Bwahaha!
1. Back to Staten Island
Angelina finally left the show (confetti!), and while there’s some backstory we could get into about how Angelina pissed off all the roommates and blah blah blah, all you really need to know is this: GIRLFIGHT!
Angelina shouted about how fake she thought the “Jersey Shore” cast was, so Snooki defended her reality-show family by taking off her earrings and wrastlin’ the “Staten Island Dump” to the floor.
Two rounds later, it was hard to tell who won the fight. Both women looked a hot mess, although Snooki boasted afterward, with pouf half-crooked and half-undone, “I’m still pretty, bitch!” (Whatever you say, Snooks!) This much is for sure: Snooki and Angelina made Gloria Steinem proud.
What was your favorite “Jersey Shore” moment this week? Will you miss Angelina on the show? Leave a comment below or tweet me @jambajim!
Don’t miss “Jersey Shore” every Thursday at 10 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.