In the first major interview published since Lindsay Lohan spent time in jail and rehab, the troubled actress told Vanity Fair that she's determined to get her career back on track. She also addressed suggestions that she was on a downward spiral of drug and alcohol addiction and talked about how heartrending it was to see her younger sister Ali in the courtroom during her sentencing earlier this summer.
"I don't care what anyone says. I know that I'm a damn good actress. ... And I know that in my past I was young and irresponsible — but that's what growing up is. You learn from your mistakes," said Lohan, who can be seen next in "Machete" and who is slated to start working on the Linda Lovelace biography "Inferno" in November.
Lohan also spoke candidly about her alleged struggles with illicit substances and alcohol in the interview, which was conducted one week before she spent 13 days of a 90-day sentence in jail.
"If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room, because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I'm taking and my father says I'm taking — so that says something, because I was fine," Lohan told the magazine about the alcohol-detection bracelet she was required to wear. Her SCRAM bracelet was triggered on the night of the MTV Movie Awards in June; her lawyer said the cause was an accident in which someone spilled a drink on Lohan's ankle. But that incident helped set off the chain of events that landed Lohan in jail for 13 days of a 90-day sentence on a probation violation from her 2007 DUI conviction.
"I think everyone has their own addictions and hopefully learns how to get past them," Lohan explained. "I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life." Lohan is estranged from father Michael Lohan, but she said watching the reactions from him and her sister Ali when the actress was sentenced to three months in jail was incredibly difficult.
The article describes Lohan, 24, as "visibly upset" when talking about watching her sister cry in the courtroom, but it notes that she was torn by Michael Lohan's presence at the hearing. "The worst part of it is you turn around and you see your dad crying and normally you'd be, like, happy that your father's there," she said. "But then he has to go and do an interview right after."
Though Lohan was reportedly taking a number of prescription medications before reporting to jail, the "Mean Girls" star adamantly denied ever abusing prescription drugs. "I never have — never in my life. I have no desire to," she said. "That's not who I am. I've admitted to the things that I've done — to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things 'cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, OK, 'cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me. And I see what happened in my life because of it." In addition to serving a short sentence in jail, Lohan was sprung from a 90-day rehab sentence early.
Like a lot of young stars who come to Hollywood, Lohan said she got caught up in the party scene and ended up running with the wrong crowd. She blamed that group for some of her troubles, saying they pretended to care about her for the wrong reasons and were only there for the party. When she first moved to Los Angeles as a teenager, Lohan said the atmosphere was,"very go-go-go and I had a lot of responsibility; and I think just the second I didn't have [structure] anymore — I was 18, 19 — with a ton of money and no one really here to tell me that I couldn't do certain things ... And I see where that's gotten me now, and I don't like it."
And while she denied tipping off the paparazzi to her whereabouts to get more press, Lohan confessed that she often relied on tabloids as her main news source and that she was influenced by the blanket coverage of other bad girls like Britney Spears. "I would look up to those girls," she said. "And I would be like, 'I want to be like that.' "
The interview with Lohan runs in the October issue of Vanity Fair, which hits newsstands in New York and Los Angeles on Thursday (September 2) and nationwide on September 7.