This season on MTV's "When I Was 17," we've heard embarrassing stories of awkwardness, heartbreak and, um — OK, those have been our two big themes, because even celebs like Drake and Kevin Jonas were just dorky kids back in the day.
This week's episode, however, introduced entirely new levels of embarrassment, as Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine, hip-hop luminary Swizz Beatz and comedian Kathy Griffin dished about their less glamorous moments from childhood.
"When I was 17, I was gross," Levine admitted on the show. "My hair was long and really ratty and nappy. [I wore] huge, oversize flannels that didn't fit [and I had] a goatee. Like a bad version of Ethan Hawke in 'Reality Bites.' "
Levine shared something in common with Griffin, who looks back at her high school style with utter mortification. "I was pale, freckly and had Bozo hair!" she laughed.
The foul-mouthed jokester was also completely unprepared for certain aspects of teenage social life. "One time, I was fooling around with this one guy. He was like, 'Hey, Kath, you wanna see a penis?' " she said. "I said, 'OK, but I'm not going to do anything, because I'm a lady.' And so he unzips his pants, and then this thing comes out. It scared the f--- out of me. I thought it was disgusting. I didn't know that they're purple. I thought it'd be tan. It had this really perfect shape. When I was 17, I did not shoot anyone, I did not go to jail, I just didn't know what penises looked like."
Right. We have to admit, we're at a loss for words. As was Swizz one time when he tried to sneak into a club and ran into an unamused bouncer. See, the future hip-hop star got his start DJing in clubs before he was even legally allowed to drink. Usually he'd sneak in the back. But on one occasion, he showed up late and tried his luck at the front entrance.
"So I go through the front, I get to the door and — 'Show me your ID!' I'm like, 'I don't have no ID. What do you mean, show you my ID? I work here. I'm supposed to be getting the party started.' " Swizz said. "I was like, 'I'm telling you, I work here!' " he recalled. "I'm speaking with so much authority. I'm this little skinny guy. He's looking down on me, like, 'I don't care. Step over here.' "
"When I Was 17" airs Saturday at 11 a.m. on MTV.