Grab those pickles from the fridge and practice your creepin’ because the cast of “Jersey Shore” is back. On Thursday night’s season-two premiere , the gang traded their beloved Seaside Heights share for digs in Miami’s hot, hot South Beach, proving you can take the juiceheads out of Jersey, but you can’t take the Jersey out of the juiceheads.
With “Snowmageddon 2010″ ravaging the Northeast, the “Jersey Shore” cast readied for their trips to the warmer climes of South Florida. A fortuitous trip, actually, because “you can’t creep in this weather,” as Pauly D informed us on his way to pick up Mike “The Situation.” The two besties decided they’d road-trip down to the Sunshine State. Snooki and JWoww had the same idea, but not before Snooki could put the finishing touches on her look — an extra layer of self tanner.
“I don’t go tanning-tanning anymore,” Snooki explained. “Because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning.”
Pauly D and Mike’s plan was to make it to the house first so they could have their pick of rooms, and as they wended their way south, conversation turned to Angelina, who left the house last season after the third episode. She’s been talking to Mike and Pauly D, and the two weren’t sure whether she’d make an appearance in Miami. Oh, and Pauly D let it slip that the two hooked up.
Unbeknownst to her former roommates, Angelina was indeed planning a trip to Florida. How do we know? She’s getting a Brazilian wax, of course!
“I’m happy I got a second shot,” she said, “because everyone in the world deserves a second shot.”
Somewhere in South Carolina, Pauly D and Mike decided to buy fireworks. But then their car got stuck in the muddy field and they had to call AAA. So what are two guys with a trunk full of fireworks to do while waiting for a tow in the middle of the night? Set off the fireworks, naturally. When AAA finally arrived, wouldn’t you know, they got stuck too. Finally, a second AAA truck came to pull both vehicles out of the mud, and the boys were back on the road, albeit having sullied their pristine sneaks.
Meanwhile, the girls were having their own bonding time in Savannah, Georgia, where Snooki had what she dubbed a “life-changing experience.” “This takes pickles to a whole ‘nother level,” she purred, as she and JWoww chowed down on a batch of friend pickles.
Vinny’s goal for Miami was arguably more lofty than a simple epicurean awakening. He plans on getting with 60 girls in 60 days. And if a day goes by without one, well, he’ll just double up the next. You’ve gotta love his chutzpah.
Having broken up after the first season of “Jersey Shore,” Ronnie and Sammi were both apprehensive about living with one another in Miami. While Ronnie’s friends warned him not to get into the same mess he got into last summer, Sammi clearly still had feelings for Ronnie. “I’m nervous about seeing Ron,” she said. “I feel like I’m still in love with him.”
As planned, Mike and Pauly arrived to the house first to claim their rooms. They weren’t there long, though, before Angelina sauntered in. With bewildered looks and gaping mouths, the boys welcomed her with hugs. “I thought I saw a ghost,” Pauly joked. Angelina then promptly plunked her stuff down in the boys’ room declaring she was bunking with them.
It was obvious no love was lost between Sammi and Angelina as the two shared a cool reception when Sammi arrived. Angelina asked if they were OK, but Sammi just couldn’t shake the rumors that Angelina had been talking about her behind her back. Angelina got an even icier welcome from Snooki and JWoww when they finally walked in (after an apparent wardrobe change). Surprisingly, Ronnie and Sammi shared a warmer welcome, a cordial hug and kiss on the cheek.
With the gang all assembled, the boys made short order of firing up the hot tub while the girls finished unpacking. In an unfortunate shelving accident, drinks fell all over Sammi’s white pants, allowing Snooki to deliver one of her best lines from the episode. As she stood over the sink scrubbing Sammi’s stained shorts she exclaimed, “I feel like a pilgrim from the freakin’ ’20s right now.” We bet you do, Snooki.
Hours later, the gang finally did what they came to do: hit the clubs and get their creep on. The girls and boys took separate cabs, and while the guys’ ride was peachy keen, the girls got off to a rough start when Angelina tried to interject herself into Snooki, Sammi and JWoww’s conversation. Having none of it, JWoww challenged her to a fight then and there, but it didn’t happen.
Ronnie and Sammi got into a heated argument at the club, which sent Ronnie into a downward spiral of booze and not-so-cute girls.
“Ronnie is at the club hooking up with grenades (that’s a fat ugly chick) and landmines (that’s a skinny ugly chick),” Mike explained. “His name is Ronnie but you might as well call him Sloppy Joe.”
Meanwhile, poor Sammi was at home wondering if she’d made a mistake in coming. Snooki assured her that she hadn’t. “It’s like a fairytale ends,” Sammi lamented in the confessional as Ronnie sucked face with two girls simultaneously. Fairytale, indeed.
“Jersey Shore” airs Thursdays at 10 p.m. ET/PT on MTV. Be there!
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