"American Idol" in 60 Seconds has fast become an MTV News institution, but it goes by so fast that it's not always easy to catch every golden nugget. So, here we present to you Jim Cantiello's bite-size recap of this week's "Idol" high jinks.
It was Rolling Stones week on [article id="1634168"]"American Idol,"[/article] and the newly elected [article id="1634109"]top 12[/article] didn't completely embarrass themselves. Golf clap!
It was also a week where the judges happily overlooked mangled lyrics (Didi Benami's "Play With Fire"), off-key notes ([article id="1634084"]Siobhan Magnus' "Paint It Black"[/article]) and questionable hygiene (Crystal Bowersox wrapped a dreadlock around one of Lilly Scott's patented peacock feathers).
When the contestants weren't warbling Stones tunes, viewers got to meet their families in clips that consisted of weepy dads with facial hair (nice to see you again, Papa Garcia; nice to meet you, Papa Bowersox; your accent is adorable, Daddy Dewyze), and a blatant disregard for birth control. (Hi, Urban and Magnus clans!)
The moms were fun times too. Casey James' mother had amazing eyeliner and enough custom-made "Casey" clothing to last a lifetime. Aaron Kelly's adopted mom is so nice, they named her twice (Kelly Kelly!). And Didi's matriarch/housesitter (Mommy Benami!) is too nervous to watch her daughter choke on live television, so she doesn't watch the performance episodes. Cute!
Singing-wise, everyone was pretty passable. Big Mike sounded great but he also danced (which caused Ryan Seacrest to awkwardly "oh, no you didn't" in Simon's zillionaire face after the Brit called the boogying "desperate"). Lacey squawked, Casey grinned, Katie was boring, Paige sounded better with laryngitis, Lee Dewyze continued his transformation into Dave Matthews, and Aaron debuted a new look composed of two parts self-tanner and 75 parts hair gel.
The closest thing to a catastrophe was Tim Urban's reggae reimagining of "Under My Thumb," but the resident cute boy was out-terribled by early front-runner Andrew Garcia, who screamed through "Gimme Shelter" like he was having a 'Nam flashback.
On Wednesday night's results show, David Cook carefully performed "Jumpin' Jack Flash," Australian guitarist Orianthi attempted to sing in a wind tunnel, and Ke$ha $tumbled around on$tage in a Native American headre$$ while 3Oh!3 acted like they were waiting for her to pass out so they could take advantage of her.
When it was time for results, there were few surprises. Tim, Lacey and Paige all solemnly walked to the middle of the stage, but it was Lacey who suffered the loss. She got to pick which song she wanted to perform one last time ("The Story") but no matter how hard she concentrated, it still wasn't good enough to warrant the judges using their precious "save" on her. But look at the bright side, Lacey! You now get to join Lindsey Cardinale, Brandon Rogers and Vanessa Olivarez in the "12er" club. Membership perks include ... nobody other than "Idol" reporters remembering your name.
What did you think of this week's shenanigans? Did I leave anything out of my recap you were dying for me to dish about? Leave a comment below, and for even more "Idol" goodness, follow me @jambajim.
Get your "Idol" fix on MTV News' "American Idol" page, where you'll find all the latest news, interviews and opinions.