"American Idol" in 60 Seconds has fast become an MTV News institution, but it goes by so fast that it's not always easy to catch every golden nugget. So, here we present to you a slightly altered script of the weekly bite-size recap of "Idol" high jinks, plus a joke or two that had to be cut for time!
In the first live-competition week of the ninth season of "American Idol," we met our brand new Top 24. While not everybody choked (Siobhan Magnus' interpretation of Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" was wicked cool, Lilly Scott's Beatles cover made me want to sergeant her pepper and Crystal Bowersox spent half of her debut on a singing competition blowing into a harmonica — quirky, but effective), the general tone of the show's opening week can be summed up in one word: Disaster.
Actually, most of that came courtesy of the men. (Oh, did I say "Men?" I meant "Frightened bunny rabbits.")
[Jermaine Sellers wails.]
That guy is a church singer? I hope God has earplugs.
Everybody had a confidence fail. Or an overconfidence fail. It was fail-fail-fail-fail — and then Andrew Garcia taught us just how terrible Fall Out Boy lyrics are.
But the week's worst performances came from the judges, who were a mess of disjointed, conflicted and non-sensical advice. "Take bigger risks!" "No, don't take big risks!" "Wait, am I starting, or are you?"
But at least Kara got one thing right.
[Kara calls herself a 'b----.']
On Thursday night's results show, it was so good to see everybody again.
[Ryan Seacrest: "The bad news is we'll have to send two guys and two girls home."]
Is that really bad news, though?
See you later, random people we couldn't pick out of a lineup. And Tyler Grady? Wearing tight pants and posing ain't "rock star." Blaming that judges for your downfall? That's "rock star."
What did you think of this week's performances and eliminations? Leave us your thoughts in the comments!
Get your "Idol" fix on MTV News' "American Idol" page, where you'll find all the latest news, interviews and opinions.