After reality star [url id="http://www.mtv.com/shows/tila_tequila/season_2/cast_member.jhtml?personalityId=9876"]Tila Tequila[/url] alarmed friends and fans by tweeting that she wanted to kill herself on Monday, the "Shot at Love" star has just written a blog post on GlobalGrind.com assuring the public that she's getting help for her suicidal thoughts.
According to E! Online, Tila tweeted (on her site that has now been protected), "I am going to kill myself cuz I don't want to life in a world where its filled with IGNORANCE! which majority of you ARE! & racists! As dark descends into my world ... I drown at night, without a fight. One last breath before I go. Don't mourn me world, I will die slow."
But in her Global Grind post, titled "Suicide Is Not the Answer," she appears to have gotten some perspective on the situation. "I just wanted to take a moment to address all of my fans and the people I care about regarding my recent public suicidal meltdown online," she wrote. "I don't usually issue statements to address rumors, but since suicide is a very serious subject, I felt that it is my responsibility to come clean and speak out about it, as emotional and personal as it is.
"I am a bit embarrassed and ashamed that the whole world witnessed my very public meltdown about being suicidal, but at the same time, I know that I shouldn't be," she continued. "Had I not spoken out for help, my loved ones would not have seen my cry for help, and I probably wouldn't be alive today. Had I not done what I did that night, I most definitely would have made the biggest mistake of my life, that I can never undo."
Tequila, 27, says her depression began earlier this year, when she was hospitalized after an alleged altercation with then-boyfriend San Diego Chargers player Shawne Merriman. "Recently, I was involved in a highly publicized case of domestic violence, and I have never really spoken out about it," she wrote, alluding to the incident in which no charges were ever filed. "I do not want to bring this up again, however it has been a very difficult situation for me. Not being able to speak to people about it in public, and having to pretend to move on (with life) as though nothing ever happened, has taken a heavy toll on me, physically, as well as mentally."
But Tila finished the blog post on an upbeat note, saying, "We all must remember that tomorrow comes after the dark, and everyday is a new day! After the storm passes, the sun will always be there to shine on you once again! We have only one life to live, so why not give it a try? It takes a stronger person to fight through the hard times than take the easy way out!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!! God Bless!"