Kevin Smith's Tweet-A-Thon: The Top 10

While shamelessly promoting his new book, director posts 700 Twitter updates over 24 hours.

On Tuesday morning (September 8), after a 24-hour marathon stunt of constant updates to his Twitter account, Kevin Smith's Labor Day experiment in the limits of shameless self-promotion via social networking drew to a close. By his own count, the "Clerks" director posted about 700 updates starting on Monday, hitting topics both enlightening and delightfully absurd. Answering fan questions and offering up his own nuggets of raunchy wisdom, Smith tweeted about favorite movies, personal cinematic regrets, relationships, dieting, hockey, Hollywood gossip, the "Twilight" franchise and, of course, his upcoming book, "Shootin' the Sh-- With Kevin Smith."

Unlike Smith, though, most of us had neither the time nor the inclination to stay glued to Twitter for an entire day to catch every single one of his updates — curses, R-rated jokes, TMI discussion of his sex life and all. With that in mind, here are the top 10 funniest, sweetest and safest-for-work updates of Smith's tweet-a-thon:

10. "From @svarga1981 'I'm stuck for a babysitter. Care to help?' Can the kid type? Stick it in front of the computer for a few hrs. I'll be here."

9. "Any time I start to get drunk with Twitter power/possibility, I remember that Kim Kardashian's got over 2mil followers. Tough, then, to take it seriously."

8. "Via @CoolBreeze76 'Your biggest casting coup?' [Seth] Rogen was huge. Post-'Knocked-Up,' had his pick of 100s and chose us. And he crushed it, too."

7. "Via @Harbir93 'What do you think of Kristen Stewart?' Thought she was a dude in 'Panic Room.' I've since stopped thinking that."

6. "Via @kristnorsworthy 'Percentage of this 24 hours spent on the toilet?' Zero % thus far. But the farts ARE starting to get stinkier ... "

5. "Via @emfen 'What is your biggest failure in life?' I've certainly lost the Battle of the Bulge. Surrendered and fragged my superiors, even."

4. "Via @corinnekellyb 'What's your favorite ride at Disney World?' The stand that sells the giant, fried turkey legs."

3. "Five minute break to kiss wife g'night. Hold, please ... "

2. "Via @bigdavesherman 'Ever been in a fight as an adult?' Nope. Nor as a child. I always imagine I'd try to suck my way out of any fight."

1. "Via @hobitoes1964 'One hour with anyone, who would it be?' Dad. Live Dad, not maggot-infested Zombie-Dad (which'd be weird as he's cremated)."

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