"American Idol" in 60 Seconds has fast become an MTV News institution, but it goes by so fast that it's not always easy to catch every golden nugget. So, here we present to you a slightly altered script of Jim Cantiello's bite-size recap of the week's "Idol" hijinks, plus a joke or two that had to be cut for time!
Tuesday night was a sausage fest with the top three dudes fighting for the finale.
Round one was the judges' choice, and they each picked a ...
[Jim stops as he hears the judges arguing. Cut to clip of Simon covering Paula's mouth. It is chaos on "Idol"!]
Um, guys? This recap isn't all about you, OK? Anyway, Danny honked his way through Paula's pick and then brought out a sax player!
[Another clip of the judges being asinine cuts off Jim.]
Ryan Seacrest: "Paula's just punched Simon in the left breast."
Are you done?
Then Simon said that Bono had personally cleared "One" for Adam Lam—
[More pandemonium, as Jim tries to get a word in edgewise.]
KRIS ALLEN'S KANYE COVER WAS GENIUS!
[Clip of all four judges and Seacrest talking at the same time.]
GAHHHHH! If I wanted to see four idiots shout their opinions over each other, I'd watch "The View"!
On Wednesday night's results show, there was movie promotion fail, Ford commercial fail, Alicia Keys/ Simon Cowell excitement fail, Africa fail, vision fail! AND home visits, where the top three went back to their local AT&T stores!
And results ...
Seacrest: "The person competing with Kris Allen in the finale is ... ADAM LAMBERT! We lose a talented one tonight. Say goodbye to Danny Gokey!"
[Jim does an indescribable happy dance, which is basically the reason you should be watching his video right now.]
Thank you, America!
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