Michelle Williams Opens Up About Heath Ledger's Death: 'In Some Ways It Just Gets Worse'

'Grief is like a moving river,' Williams tells Newsweek about the actor's passing.

In an interview in next week's Newsweek, actress [movieperson id="166076"]Michelle Williams[/movieperson] speaks for the first time about life without [movieperson id="233661"]Heath Ledger[/movieperson], her former love and the father of her child, Matilda Rose.

"It's so sad. ... I guess it's always changing. What else can I say?" she tells the magazine. "I just wake up each day in a slightly different place — grief is like a moving river, so that's what I mean by 'it's always changing.' It's a strange thing to say, because I'm at heart an optimistic person, but I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone. In some ways it gets worse. That's what I would say."

Ledger was found dead in a New York apartment January 22 of an apparent accidental overdose. He and Williams met in 2004, on the set of Ang Lee's [movie id="251583"]"Brokeback Mountain"[/movie] (both would receive Academy Award nominations for their work in the film when it was released the following year), and their daughter was born on October 28, 2005.

They split in 2007 and, after Ledger's death, Williams became a constant target of the paparazzi. It got so bad, she tells the magazine, that she was forced to move from the Boerum Hill, Brooklyn, apartment she and Ledger had shared onto a farm in upstate New York. And though she did the Newsweek interview to promote her new indie flick [movie id="392104"]"Wendy and Lucy,"[/movie] she says that she's enjoying her new life in (relative) anonymity, and that she's contemplating retiring from movies altogether if things don't stay that way.

"If it gets to the point where I can't situate my life in a way that they stay away more, then I'll drop a match on the thing," she says. "I'll be sad. I like to act. It's saved my life over and over again. It's given me a sense of self-esteem, self-worth. I have this thing that I'm in love with — acting — and now it has this baggage."