Five superhero movies, four animated films, three $300 million blockbusters, two movies and one partridge in a pear tree later, summer 2008 is finally winding down.
What was the best of the summer season? Forget rankings or official lists — we decided instead to hand out a whole slew of crazy awards to our favorite moments, performances and movies from the past three months.
Summer’s Biggest Hero, Inanimate Object Division
The refrigerator. Not only does a fridge shield from a nuclear blast, thereby saving his life, but a fridge also protects a plant in signaling to humans that the planet is ready for mankind’s return.
Summer’s Biggest Villain, Inanimate Object Division
The pencil. Used by the Joker in for his “magic trick,” and by an extra to commit suicide in the writing utensil has more confirmed kills than villain Emil Blonsky and villain Obadiah Stane combined.
Best Performance, Comedy
, for his stoner-turned-action-hero Saul in
Best -Assisted Cameo, Division
In a movie chock full of cameos, gets the biggest laughs alongside Robert Downey Jr.’s Kirk Lazarus as a gay medieval monk in a trailer for the fake movie “Satan’s Alley.”
Best Robert Downey Jr.-Assisted Cameo, Non-“Tropic Thunder” Division
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark at the end of “The Incredible Hulk.” This scene (which director Louis Leterrier called “the first shot of ’The Avengers’ “) also doubles as the best setup in recent memory.
Most Inexplicable Trend
Sending animals to space in animated movies, seen twice within a month with the releases of and
Idea That You Thought Was Going to Be Lame, But Turned Out to Be Awesome
The Joker explaining his backstory in “The Dark Knight.”
Idea That You Thought Was Going to Be Awesome, But Turned Out to Be Lame
returning as Marion Ravenwood in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”
The “I Bet You Didn’t Know I Was a Box-Office Record Breaker” Award
which will soon surpass as the highest grossing musical in history.
Most Intentionally Funny Cultural Stereotype
’s deliciously over-the-top performance as Palestinian terrorist the Phantom in
Most Unintentionally Funny Cultural Stereotype
The ambiguously gay Hutt, Ziro, in
Best Dismissive Attitude Toward a Character’s History
Agent Scully, whose child is done away with in one line of dialogue from
Biggest Fall for a 2007 Oscar Nominee in the Category of Best Supporting Actor (Runner Up)
, for talking to a plant, realizing he’s talking to a plant, and then continuing to talk to a plant in “The Happening.”
Biggest Fall for a 2007 Oscar Nominee in the Category of Best Supporting Actor
, for all of
Best Two Minutes of the Summer
A drunken Hellboy joining a heartbroken Abe Sapien to in
Worst Two Minutes of the Summer
Mutt Williams () swinging through the jungle like Tarzan in “Indiana Jones.”
Most Human Romance
The love between Wall-E and Eve — two robots — in “Wall-E.”
Funniest Quote of the Summer
’s Dale, about a particularly pungent batch of weed: “It smells like God’s vagina” from “Pineapple Express.”
Most Unexpected, But Much Welcome, Comeback
, who is receiving strong reviews and even Oscar talk for his first really great movie in years.
Most Unexpected, But Much Welcome, Failure
, who had a massive misfire with
Best Movie Not Yet Mentioned
The Poochiest, Most Unnecessary Character Added to an Already Beloved Franchise For No Sane Reason Other Than to Appeal to Younger Viewers Only to be Universally Hated — Bronze Medal
’s character, Louise, in
The Poochiest, Most Unnecessary Character Added to an Already Beloved Franchise For No Sane Reason Other Than to Appeal to Younger Viewers Only to be Universally Hated — Silver Medal
Shia LaBeouf’s character, Mutt Williams, in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”
The Poochiest, Most Unnecessary Character Added to an Already Beloved Franchise For No Sane Reason Other Than to Appeal to Younger Viewers Only to be Universally Hated Award — Gold Medal
Ahsoka Tana, Anakin Skywalker’s spunky Padawan learner in “Star Wars: The Clone Wars.”
Best Performance, Drama
, for his definitive portrayal of the Joker in “The Dark Knight.”
The “I Guess I Picked the Wrong Week to Quit Acid” Award
which assaulted the senses with video game visuals, quick cuts, cartoon colors and clunky dialogue.
The Most Unnecessary Romantic Subplot (Runner Up)
The non-canonical relationship between Prince Caspian and Susie in
The Most Unnecessary Romantic Subplot
and in who are revealed to be ancient, immortal lovers.
Best Superhero Beatdown
When Iron Man, using his suit for the first time, raids a terrorist camp, killing several shooters with his computerized targeting system before leaving the last one for the villagers to take care of themselves.
Best Movie Nobody Saw
a documentary about tightrope walker Philippe Petit’s high-wire routine performed between the Twin Towers.
Best Movie Everybody Saw
“The Dark Knight”
Best Movie Some People Saw, Brendan Fraser Division
Agree or disagree with our choices? Got some of your own? Sound off below.
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