Typically, if a milkshake, french fries and a wad of meat make an appearance in the MTV lobby, it's time for lunch. So imagine our surprise when the stars of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" swung by the studio this week, demanding to be interviewed.
After four seasons as the anchors of Cartoon Network's delightfully deranged Adult Swim animation block, the three antiheroes are moving to the big screen with "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters" (see [article id="1556645"]"Rewind: Will Big-Screen 'Aqua Teen' Be Next 'South Park' — Or 'Scooby-Doo'?"[/article]). Rather than risking a zap from Frylock's laser-eyes, we set our appetites aside and offered up questions for the childish Meatwad, Yoda-like Frylock and surly Master Shake.
MTV: Guys, I'm sure you know that human beings eat french fries, milkshakes and meat. So do you consider us friends or foes? What do you folks eat?
Shake: Any of you freaks that's got a dollar with my name on it is still my friend.
Frylock: Of course we like people! We hang out with your kind all the time! Like ... Carl, and uh ... yeah.
Meatwad: We eat things that are on sale.
MTV: "Colon" is your first movie. How will your lives change once you become big, A-list movie stars?
Shake: I was loaded to begin with. This really does nothing for me — and I'm pretty insulted that you're treating me like I'm some redneck in a trailer park that just won the lottery! I could buy and sell your ass 10 times over!
Meatwad: I'm gettin' two ponies. No, seven. Seven ponies, and the rest of it I get paid in Raisinettes. They good.
Frylock: [He sighs.] I tried to stop Meatwad from making up his own contract.
MTV: What are your favorite movies?
Shake: I like the one where the kid turns into a grown man via magical fortune-telling machine, then nails that chick even though he still has the mind of a child. That's gritty realism.
Meatwad: And he works at the toy factory and has a trampoline in his house!
Frylock: Yeah, even we draw the line somewhere. Meatwad, you're not allowed to watch Tom Hanks anymore!
MTV: Often, big stars get approached to do cameos in movies, and sometimes they'll turn down the offer. Give us the dirt: Who turned you guys down?
Frylock: Let's see ... Tom Hanks, Phil Hartman, Phil Donahue, Dolly Parton, Pauly Shore, Ed McMahon, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Pat Morita, Michael Jackson, Rip Taylor ...
Shake: ... Debbie Gibson, Dale Earnhardt Jr., George Foreman, Mary Lou Retton, Rachael Ray, Christopher Cross, Kris Kross, Crosby and Stills — we're still waiting to hear from Nash — Hall and Oates ...
Meatwad: ... Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Boogeyman. That last "no" was a big relief.
MTV: Now that you have a movie, you're joining the exclusive ranks of famous cartoon characters like Shrek, Scrat and Buzz Lightyear. I'm sure these guys love to party, so tell us: Which cartoon star are you most eager to meet?
Shake: I'd like to meet those animated bears from the toilet paper commercials. That's gotta be a rough gig. I'm sure they could use some consoling.
Meatwad: They get paid to poop! On camera!
Frylock: Yeah, it's bear exploitation at its worst. But it sure is cute.
MTV: Tell us about the toughest scene in "Colon" to shoot.
Shake: This show-business acting jazz comes easily to me. The toughest part was the jealousy on set. Everyone knew I was knee-deep in ladies and they couldn't handle it, and it was very distracting, some of the glares I got. Unprofessional!
Frylock: Feeding Shake his lines off-camera was pretty humiliating.
Meatwad: There was a part they took out of the film, where I was burying a dead hooker's body. I am just not good with a shovel, y'all.
MTV: Which of you is the Method actor? What lengths do you go to in order to get in character?
Frylock: Shake practices being a jackass pretty much all the time. When he gets in front of the camera, it's almost like he doesn't realize it's there.
Meatwad: What isn't there?
Shake: Your brains, you sack of monkey meat!
MTV: Obviously, "Colon" has Best Picture written all over it. Give us a preview of your Oscar acceptance speech.
Frylock: "Gee, I don't know what to say. I would have wrote something, but nothing could really capture how I feel right now, holding this golden, naked man."
Shake: Oh, Frylock, that's just too easy.
Meatwad: I'd say: "We took the bus here. I want some chocolate milk!"
MTV: What kind of ideas do you guys have in mind for sequels?
Frylock: A romantic comedy! Everybody can appreciate those.
Shake: Let's do a sci-fi/action/horror/mystery movie. With blood and boobs!
Meatwad: It should be like "The Little Mermaid on Ice" ... except not as scary.
MTV: Last question, guys: What is your deepest, darkest secret?
Meatwad: I am invisible.
Frylock: I have every season of "Road Rules" on DVD.
Shake: Even though I'm into chicks, I think that making out with Kurt Loder wouldn't be entirely unpleasant.
Check out everything we've got on "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters."
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