It’s said New Year’s resolutions are meant to be broken. This is probably why most boozy pledges made as December 31 expires are long forgotten by mid-January, leaving a trail of unused treadmills, unopened Nicorette patches and un-creased self-help books in their wake.
And yet, year after year, we continue to make them … hoping against hope that this will finally be the year that we organize the garage or stop drinking cough syrup. And musicians, being just like the rest of us (except, you know, with more money and fame and all that) are no different, starting each new year with the resolve to better themselves. And while it’s not known if they have a higher success rate than the rest of us, we’re willing to bet the answer is no.
Which is why it was surprising to see several of them making the, uh, “brave” — meaning perhaps contractually obligated — decision to post their New Year’s resolutions on YouTube.com, where they’ll stand for all eternity (or until some copyright law banishes them from the Internet) as a testament to their hopes and dreams for building better selves.
We’ve compiled some of our favorites here to see if, in 12 months, we notice some real and definite change in our favorite rappers and rockers (and James Blunt, too). From the sublimely ridiculous to the ridiculously ridiculous, here’s what some today’s biggest and brightest hope to accomplish in ’07.
Trick Daddy, self-proclaimed “Mayor of Dade County,” huge proponent of the kids: “My New Year’s resolution is to make some money and to stay out of jail. I’m not gonna spend any money on bail bonds or lawyers this year. That’s my resolution. And if you’re out there representing the streets, you should do that for me too.”
Jon Walker, Panic! at the Disco’s former replacement (now permanent) bassist and token “normal dude”: “I can’t think of anything better to do on New Year’s than maybe enjoy an extra-value meal from one of my favorite fast-food chains and watch some videos on YouTube.”
Pretty Ricky, Creatively maned, sartorially unique Miami quartet: “Our New Year’s resolution is to make more money. And ya’ll should make some more money too.”
Ben Gibbard, Death Cab for Cutie’s permanently hangdog frontman: “In the year 2007, I’m looking forward to possibly buying some kind of island that I can build a log cabin on, that I can build a helipad on. So I can have our bus driver — who also flies helicopters — take me to the grocery store. And I’ll buy a helicopter too. The first thing is to get a loan for an island, because I don’t think I have enough money for an island right now.”
T.I., rapper, actor, so-called “King of Atlanta”: “This year I wanna be more organized, maybe work out a bit more. Maybe get a chance to sleep more, rest more, vacation more.”
Travis McCoy, Gym Class Heroes’ strangely sweet, (even more) strangely street frontman: “[To] stop wearing those fake-ass sneakers. Don’t buy Okie Dokes, because I hate Okie Dokes. Okie Dokes are bad, yo.”
David Desrosiers, Simple Plan’s sorta-goth bassist: “My New Year’s resolution is to try what I was intending to do last year’s New Year’s resolution, which is to try and go to bed earlier. I actually did go to bed really, really early the other day. It was like 6 in the morning.”
James Blunt, balladeer, former member of the British Army, dater of supermodels: “My New Year’s resolution? I’m going to drink more.”
Nick Cester, Jet’s borderline-insufferable, certifiably delusional frontman: “I personally don’t think I have any flaws, therefore I don’t consider it necessary to make any resolutions. If you’re on a winning ticket, why change? I’m just gonna steam ahead as I have done for most of my life.”
Kid Rock, Pamela Anderson’s husband of nearly five months, current divorcee: “I think for my New Year’s resolution, I’m gonna give up something … I’m gonna give up sleeping. I think it’s overrated, and I’m gonna give it up. So I’m not gonna be in bed anymore, I’m gonna devote all my time to just having more fun.”