Try to look at the bright side, Kevin: Jason Alexander, your predecessor, only got 55 hours. You got two and a half years. Here are some highlights …
» April 22: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline go dancing all night at XES and El Centro in Los Angeles.
» April 23: Britney and Kevin are first photographed together, frolicking on a beach in Santa Monica, California, with the paparazzi mere inches away.
» Late April: The mother of Kevin’s daughter Kori, a then-pregnant Shar Jackson, tells People magazine, “It wasn’t like just breaking up a relationship. It was like breaking up a family.”
» April 26: Britney kicks off her European tour in London — and calls Kevin to come join her. He tells Shar he has a commercial overseas. They spend their time together over the next few weeks shooting what becomes their reality show “Chaotic.”
» June 7: Britney pops the question on the flight back, but Kevin says no. He changes his mind and asks her, and she says yes.
» June 9: Britney busts her knee during the video shoot for “Outrageous” and cancels the second leg of her Onyx Hotel tour, which was supposed to start June 22 (see “Britney Cancels Tour” ). The couple get a lot of quality time together.
» June 25: Britney’s camp confirms that she’s engaged to Kevin (see “It’s True: Britney’s Engaged” ).
» July 12: The new issue of People magazine hits stands, and in it Britney says, “Marrying Kevin was the last thing I was thinking about doing, but then I said, ’You know what? This is my life and I don’t care what people think. I’m going to get married. I’m in love with him.’ ”
» July 20: Shar Jackson gives birth to Kaleb, her second child with Kevin.
» August: Shar cashes in … er, starts shopping a reality show. Britney finally meets Kori. Britney shoots a music video for her cover of Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative,” with K-Fed popping up in the clip as her groom (see “Britney To Marry Kevin Federline In ’My Prerogative’ Video” ).
» September 18: Britney and Kevin have a surprise marriage ceremony in Studio City, California, at their wedding planner’s home (see “Britney Spears Marries Kevin Federline” ).
» October 6: The couple file their marriage license and are officially married. They fly to Fiji for their honeymoon.
» October 15: On her Web site, Britney announces she’s taking some time off (see “Britney Spears Announces She’s Taking A Break From Her Career” ). “My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all of the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly be your entertainment. Good luck girls!” Us Weekly responds by including Brit on its cover more than ever.
» November 9: Britney releases her Greatest Hits: My Prerogative album — the first of two albums Britney releases during their marriage.
» December 16: Shar Jackson cashes in again … er, announces she’s working on an album (see “Kevin Federline’s Ex Shar Jackson Looking To Follow In Britney’s Footsteps” ).
» December 25: Britney buys K-Fed a custom-built motorcycle.
» January 24: Britney phones in to “TRL” and says she and K-Fed got matching dice tattoos. “It’s like an inside thing.”
» February: Photos of the couple’s Fiji honeymoon are leaked — Britney fumes at the invasion of their privacy. Meanwhile, Kevin poses for Details, and in the interview, Britney pops up to defend her man against those who think he’s after her money. “Time will tell, motherchuckers,” she tells the mag.
» April 12: Britney announces she’s pregnant on her Web site (see “It’s Official: Britney’s Pregnant” ).
» April 25: Shar Jackson cashes in yet again, er … announces a cosmetics line called Relation Lips, with a lip gloss called He Cheated (see “Shar Jackson Congratulates Britney And Kevin, Says ’I’m Not Bitter’ “ ).
» May 17 :”Britney and Kevin: Chaotic” premieres on UPN, exposing the couple’s private life but making them a chunk of change at the same time. This proves to be Kevin’s main source of income (see “Reality-TV Britney Asks Fans: Can You Handle The Truth?” ).
» June: A pregnant Britney appears in a video for her single “Someday (I Will Understand).” Kevin upgrades her engagement ring to 5.5 carats.
» September 14: Sean Preston — Britney and Kevin’s first child together, his third — is born (see “Britney Spears Gives Birth To A Baby Boy” ).
» Early October: The couple buy a $7 million, 9,000-foot mansion in Malibu, California. According to a draft of their prenup, Kevin has a 50 percent stake in the home’s equity.
» October 21: Sean Preston’s baby photos leak.
» November 9: Kevin’s first recording, a track called “Y’All Ain’t Ready,” leaks. At this point, he’s considering calling his debut album The Truth.
» November 21: DivorceKevin.com launches (see ” ’Remove The Boil That Is Kevin': Petition Calls For Britney To Dump Her Man” ). Over the course of a year, the site collects 200,000 signatures.
» November 22: Britney quietly releases B in the Mix, the Remixes. The LP, which was barely promoted, sells less than 15,000 copies in its first week and debuts at #134 on the Billboard albums chart (see “System Of A Down Make It A Double With Chart-Topping Hypnotize“ ).
» January 1: Kevin unleashes “PopoZao,” his first single, online. By the end of the month, video of him bopping in the studio to the tune is unveiled on MTV’s Overdrive. Mocking ensues over the Internet and on late-night TV shows.
» February 6: Britney is photographed driving with Sean Preston on her lap, not in a car seat. She later calls it a “mistake” and blames the paparazzi.
» Early April: Kevin releases “America’s Most Hated” on his MySpace page (see “Thomas Dolby Won’t Turn Blind Eye To Kevin Federline Sample” ).
» April 1: Sean Preston falls out of his high chair at home. Britney is questioned again by the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services. This time she blames the nanny.
» May 9: Britney appears on “Late Show With Dave Letterman” to announce she’s five months pregnant. No, Dave, it’s not yours.
» May 18: Britney nearly drops Sean Preston — but not her coffee — in New York. She blames the cobblestones.
» June 16: Britney cries and smacks her gum while defending her parenting techniques to Matt Lauer on “Dateline.” About driving with Sean Preston in her lap? “I did it with my dad. I’d sit on his lap and I drive. We’re country.” He tells her that some people have the feeling that K-Fed is “not good enough for you.” “Oh, that would hurt me for some … anybody to say that,” she said. “You know that’s … that would be horrible for someone to say that ’cause I love him and that’s all that matters.” Oh, and she also blames the maid.
» July 30: An outtake from “Chaotic” pops up on YouTube, where Brit asks Kev — in all earnestness — if time travel is possible and informs him that her jaw hurts. Ours hurt from laughing so hard.
» August: Kevin earns income unrelated to Britney by appearing in Five Star Vintage clothing ads.
» August 20: Britney introduces Kevin on the Teen Choice Awards (see “Britney Introduces K-Fed, Nick Lachey Scores ’Awkward’ Award At Teen Choice 2006″ ).
» August 31: Britney and Kevin spoof their image as bad parents when they appear together via satellite on the Video Music Awards.
» September 12: Britney and Kevin’s second child together is born. Reports at the time claim he has been named Sutton Pierce.
» October 12: Kevin’s acting debut, on “CSI,” airs (see “Britney Shows Up To Watch Kevin Get Smacked Down In ’CSI’ “ ).
» October 15: John Cena body-slams Kevin at a taping of WWE’s “Monday Night Raw.” The episode airs the following day.
» October 17: Britney shows off a slimmed post-childbirth figure while on a shopping spree in Los Angeles.
» October 19: Kevin performs “Privilege” on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.”
» October 23: Another “Raw” episode in which John Cena body-slams Kevin airs.
» October 25: The birth certificate for their second child surfaces — Sutton Pierce turns out to be Jayden James (see “K-Fed Explains Why He And Britney Kept Second Baby’s Name Under Wraps” ). Who would have guessed?
» October 30: Kevin cancels shows in Cleveland and Atlantic City, New Jersey, because of poor ticket sales.
» October 31: Kevin releases his debut album, Playing With Fire, and plays the West Hollywood, California, Halloween parade — only to be booed. Britney goes incognito to his afterparty.
» November 2: Kevin does a New York media blitz, including appearing on “TRL” and talking to MTV News (see “K-Fed’s MTV News Interview Days Ago Revealed No Hint Of Marital Trouble” ). Britney also arrives in town, but has dinner — alone — at the Library lounge at the Regency Hotel. Reports suggest K-Fed stood her up.
» November 3: Kevin holds a record-release party at New York club Stereo. Britney does not attend.
» November 4: Kevin plays New York’s Webster Hall, but goes on several hours late to a sparse crowd.
» November 6: Britney makes her first official appearance after giving birth to Jayden James, as a surprise guest on “Late Show With David Letterman.” Kevin appears on MuchMusic. He tells People magazine, “She’s the spice and I’m kinda like the sweet in it. I’m the laid-back person. She’s always hyperactive and running around crazy and I don’t know, it just works. I calm her down and she speeds me up.”
» November 7: Britney disrupts election-night coverage by filing for divorce just moments before most weekly mags hit their deadlines (see “Britney Spears Files For Divorce — It’s Official” ). She asks for sole custody (allowing visitation rights) and that each party pays its own attorney fees — which means the couple’s standing as good parents and how much money each makes could come into play if Kevin contests the divorce. He finds out via text message. She celebrates by going ice-skating at New York’s Rockefeller Center.
» November 8: K-Fed gets another blow as his Playing With Fire sales figures come in. He will debut at #151 on next week’s Billboard albums chart (see ” ’Hannah Montana’ Holds Billboard #1; K-Fed’s Tough Week Continues” ). That same day, he files court papers seeking sole custody of the kids as well as spousal support (see “Kevin Responds To Britney’s Divorce Filing: He’s Going To Fight” ).