On Monday, a galaxy of comedy and musical stars will fill New York's Beacon Theatre for Comedy Love Call, a fund-raiser to benefit autism education and research. Sure, the assembled talent is impressive — Adam Sandler, Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart and a host of others will provide the jokes, Fountains of Wayne and Nellie McKay the tunes — but there's one name that appears on the Beacon marquee that shines a little brighter than the rest: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.
For years, we've been entertained by the comedic canine's sarcastic wit and scatological material. We've marveled at his fearlessness in the face of celebrity and his seemingly endless supply of cigars. Now he's agreed to lend his considerable celebrity to Comedy Love Call. Does this signify a new turn for the sharp-tongued pooch? Can a celebrity "spay-and-neuter-athon" with Bob Barker be far off?
Triumph was gracious enough to sit down with MTV News for a brief chat to candidly discuss his street cred, his beef with Star Jones and his first brush with Grammy success. And he didn't mention pooping even once.
MTV: You don't do many charity events. What was it that drew you to this one? The impressive list of talent assembled? The chance to poop on the Fountains of Wayne?
Triumph: Impressive? Fountains of Wayne? I've got flea bites bigger than Fountains of Wayne. Conan O'Brien? Have you seen him naked? Down there, it's like Ronald McDonald had his nose done.
MTV: Do they even normally let dogs inside the Beacon Theatre?
Triumph: OK, you're obviously trying to set me up for a Courtney Love joke, so let's just agree that she's unattractive and move on.
MTV: Lately MTV News' headlines have been dominated by stories of 50 Cent's many, many beefs. The guy's been shot nine times and lived — obviously he's not someone most people would mess with. What if he attends Comedy Love Call? Would you have the guts to hit him with some of your insult humor?
Trimph: 50 Cent? I'm not impressed. I've been shot eight times: twice for rabies, six times for gonorrhea.
MTV: 50's had beef with a whole lot of rappers: Fat Joe, Jadakiss, the Game, etc. Is there anyone out there you've got beef with? And why?
Triumph: Star Jones. They didn't let me near her at the Grammys. I understand to lure her to the red carpet, they told her it was actually an enormous fruit roll-up.
MTV: Let's talk about the Grammys for a moment. Your album, Come Poop With Me, was nominated in the Best Comedy Album category, but you lost to Jon Stewart and the cast of "The Daily Show." Did you feel like you were robbed?
Triumph: I didn't care, I was so star-struck. Maroon 5! Now I'm able to say I saw Maroon 5 before they were back working at Big O Tires with Matchbox 20. And then there was this amazing thing that was four feet tall and purple. I think it was either Prince or Tommy Lee's ...
MTV: Have you seen anything on MTV lately that you feel deserves to get pooped on?
Triumph: The Black Eyed Peas, which are like regular peas that talk back to Ike Turner.
Tickets for Comedy Love Call are $150 and available through Ticketmaster. For more information about the event, or about autism, visit ComedyLoveCall.com.