Chris Rock Would Have Hosted The VMAs This Year, If …

Funnyman says nobody told him awards were being held in Miami.

Chris Rock has beef with MTV.

“If they would’ve told me this year’s [Video Music Awards are] in Miami, I wouldn’t have done them last year. I would’ve waited and done this year,” a comically disgruntled Rock said recently. “But those bastards didn’t say anything. It’s gonna be crazy in Miami!”

Well, Rock, you could always make an 11th-hour return. After all, the show has no host this year.

“I never do it two years in a row,” he answered. “The music doesn’t change that much from year to year, so if you’re hosting two years in a row, it’s like hosting the same show. And I gotta rejuvenate. Hopefully they’ll want me to host the show every two or three years, but I like a little foreplay, the anticipation. You don’t just jump into it.”

Rock never completely steps away from the VMAs, however. During years he doesn’t host, he still submits a few jokes to the writers. “I think I’ve gotten a joke in [the show] the past five or six years,” he said.

One joke that has raised a few eyebrows is the controversial song “Crackers,” which is from Rock’s latest album, Never Scared. (The album is due Tuesday, although he’s quick to point out, “There’s bootlegs out there. Go get a bootleg.”)

The song is a satirical observation of racism against blacks set to the tune of “Hey Ya!” (see “Chris Rock Spoofs ‘Hey Ya!’: ‘It’s Like Public Enemy — But Funny’ “ ). Because “Crackers” is a parody, Rock was not required to get Outkast to sign off on the song. He did call Andre 3000 though, but has yet to hear back.

“I just want him to listen to it. I think he would think it was funny,” Rock said. “I love Outkast. I had them on my show before all this super-hype stuff. Before David Letterman, before all the white people got hip to it, I had him on my show.”

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The comedian is currently in Santa Fe, New Mexico, shooting “The Longest Yard” remake” (see “A Visit With Adam Sandler, Chris Rock And Nelly In Prison” )”. “Me and Adam, we’ve been friends for 20 years, so we kinda have a cool chemistry going on,” he said. “I think this is gonna be my funniest movie. Me and Adam are really funny together.”

After “The Longest Yard,” Rock plans to take his Black Ambition Tour to Europe, Australia and South Africa. He’s also writing another film (although he’s not talking about it yet) and notes that he’s not currently deluged with movie offers.

“Tom Cruise points to a film and it comes to him. Will Smith points to a film and it will come,” he said. “I beg, — and occasionally they come to me. ‘Please, please, Will Smith, say no!’ ‘Please Jim Carrey, say no to “Bruce Almighty”! You must have something else you could be doing!’ That’s me and movies.”

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