For a man of leisure, Archbishop Don "Magic" Juan works an awful lot. He's a spiritual adviser and he's putting out his own album with the help of Snoop Dogg, P. Diddy and Ja Rule. He's also working on a reality TV show and he recently designed Snoop's playa attire for the movie version of "Starsky and Hutch."
With 30 years of wisdom under his belt — accumulated from pimping, mackin' and being an all around fly guy — who else could we ask but this man of the cloth (he loves silk) to put us up on game for the proper attire to wear for this year's MTV Video Music Awards (Click for photos of Don "Magic" Juan). Here, in his own words, Don Juan lends his pimp eye to the lame guy.
Step 1: It's All in the Mind
Individuals getting dressed have gotta be thinking about getting their minds together first. Once you get your mind together, you start focusing on the event: "Who's gonna be there and what's the occasion?" Now that I know the occasion that I'm attending, I've got to know what I want to wear. Me, I'm just calm, cool and collected.
Step 2: Hand-to-Hand Combat
Men on the level of being a playa, we're pedicuring and manicuring. We took it to another level where we're doing our fingernails. I like to keep mine short, 'cause I like to move around, shaking hands and fellowshipping. It's sort of hard for me to keep them long nails clean. Even females, just like the males, they done all trimmed they nails down to a certain minimum. It ain't as slick as it used to be in the days where the guys had the long fingernails and wore their little pinky rings.
Now we're doing our toes also 'cause we know that's part of grooming. I use [top-of-the-line] acrylic nail polish because mine is specially designed. I know most people, [when] they get the pedicure, they usually get a straight color, or some men, they get clear. Mine is green and gold; green for the money and gold for the honey. I'm true to my colors.
If an individual really got special [toenail] colors for this special event, that's gonna jump off.
Step 3: Before You Get Dressed, You Have to Smell Fresh
Players, we know cleanliness is next to godliness. So definitely, when you get in the shower, put on some old-school music. Something like Curtis Mayfield's "I Choose You" or some "Superfly." I used to be with a female that had really sensitive skin and she hipped me to the [Oil of] Olay. That stuff moisturizes the skin. It gives you a good feeling when you get out of the shower. Hit the Olay, do the whole body and then put on one of them good smelling body rinses. Hey man, come on out — then it's time for that fresh lotion. You've got to have a good body lotion.
I hate to tell it like this 'cause I know everybody is gonna run and get it, but I use Giorgio Beverly Hills and I mix it with Royal Bane De Champagne, which is known to be a pimp cologne. It's got a flavor that you could never imagine and it's definitely a good nose-catcher. And you gotta be thinking about that because you gotta have a fresh scent about yourself. You can't be looking good and smelling bad. They do not go together.
Step 4: Less Is More
I don't wear underwear. In the last 10 years, I've been feeling real comfortable without them. I think I took them off one time 'cause maybe I wasn't feeling good or they was too tight and I went like that for a day. I was so comfortable with it, man, it just became a part of my style, jack! You can't have them baggy boxer shorts with no nice dress pants where they be bungled. If you wear underwear, get you some nice fitted Jockeys.
Step 5: Soft and Silky
You got to have some fine, raw silk for your suit. That raw silk shines so good. Even with the tailor cutting it into a conservative style, this man should look like a million-dollar player. I think purple might stand out. People wanna put on loud colors, but they don't want it to be so loud where they'll be standing out. I don't mind wearing that green and gold where it stands out like a sore thumb.
With that purple suit, you've got those custom buttons on there. These ain't just regular buttons on that purple suit man, they should be gold buttons — 14-karat. You've got to have them gold buttons over that purple silk. All the pieces of the suit have to match, and that includes the shirt. And you definitely got to have a hat made to match. You don't have to rock no tie 'cause you got like a Nehru collar. It's fitted up around the neck. You could be really relaxed and sharp at the same time.
Step 6: Now and Later Gators
We definitely gotta go over to the mall and get this man some gators. You've got to have some matching Now and Later gators. They say a lot of things when a player got them gators on his feet, man.
Step 7: Icing Down
If a player wants to take it to that level, he's really gotta elevate his mind, [and] jewelry is gonna get him a lot of attention. It's like a mouthpiece — he don't have to say nothing.
If you really wanna know about a jeweler that can make exotic-looking pieces, they got Dewitt's Jewelry in Cleveland, Ohio. This man can cut some pieces, jack. I'm talking about this man can cut your face: You can give him a picture of you and he can make it into jewelry. This is how cold Dewitt is. Wear a ring indicating exactly what you're about. If you're a preacher, wear a church [medallion] made of diamonds. If you're a player, you wear a body of a lady squatting completely made of diamonds. It's all in the accessories.
Step 8: Get Your Magic Stick
You could have this little platinum walking cane with the diamonds all around. He could definitely do multicolor for the show — some pink stones in there and some purple stones to set it straight off.
Step 9: The Goblet
You've got to have a pimp glass. He got to have that chalice — I do mine in green and gold, but I'm sure his is gonna be purple with diamonds all around the top of it and diamonds running around the base on the bottom. You've got to have your name on there — they put your name on it too. In my pimp glass, we call that the famous player energy drink, which is known to be champagne. You can pick your choice: Cristal, White Star Möet, Dom, it's your choice. I've got the kind of chalice that they call the Bishop Chalice. It was named after me. It can hold a bottle of champagne in it without ice. Anyway, while you're sitting in the VMAs, you're not guzzling, you're sipping, enjoying the festivities — and I don't mean what's going on onstage.
Step 10: Drop the Babe on Your Arm
One thing about it is you sure hate to take sand to the beach. If I wasn't taking Paris Hilton, [I wouldn't take anybody]. What I like about her is she's nice, young and rich. I had the opportunity of meeting her. I gave her my player card and told her to give me a call. So the next time I seen her, I said, "Hey baby, I didn't get that call." She said, "I lost the card." The only reason I believe her is because the outfit she had on, she had no pockets.
Step 11: Sitting on Chrome
We've got to think of how we're riding now. An event like this, I would like to take my Rolls Royce or the new Cadillac. You would like somebody to chauffer you. Have all the TVs inside. A bottle of Cristal, a bottle of Möet White Star and a bottle of Dom in it. You want some good music, maybe Snoop and 50 Cent's song, "P.I.M.P." You'll be watching that nice video ["Shake Your Tailfeather"] with Nelly and Murphy [Lee] and P. Diddy on your way to the ball. Hey man, Cinderella's story couldn't have been created no better.
Step 12: Shake Off the Player Hater
It's like anything [else]: You've got to have the player haters around because that's their job — to player-hate. Once you discover it, then you treat them like a long-handled spoon — you move back. Get the female in and make her aware that player haters ain't liking you. Player haters, you better beware 'cause when you player-hate and tell a lady something about an individual, she is going to find out herself it wasn't true.
Catch all the sizzlin', star-packed VMA action direct from Miami on August 28. MTV News' preshow kicks things off at 6:00 p.m. ET/PT, followed by the big show at 8 p.m.