Maybe cable isn't big enough for both of them.
Just as "The Osbournes" returned last week, "The Sopranos" begins to wind down its season, which concludes this Sunday.
Maybe the shows — and the families at the center of them — are like magnets with similar charges, one pushing the other out of the way. Consider the similarities: Both clans are dangerous, volatile and prone to vulgarity. They both manage to instill fear in those who cross their path. They seem to fill common places in the family: Ozzy as Tony (all id and swagger), Sharon as Carmela (holding the family together and keeping a watchful eye on the money), Kelly as Meadow (prone to explosions of pride and independence) and Jack as A.J. (restless, rebellious and ready to explode). Hell, you've even got Ozzy's dogs in place of Tony's ducks. Both families also boast a deep love holding them together, perhaps explaining why mainstream audiences have warmed up to a mob boss, a metal madman and their respective broods.
But beyond the obvious links inspired by familial structure, how else might the paths of television's most notorious families cross? Surely the plight of Christopher Moltisanti — whose addiction nearly cost him his career and his family — hits close to home for Ozzy, while unwelcome Osbournes houseguest Dill evokes the same "enough already" reaction from viewers as Tony's sister Janice. And perhaps Sharon isn't the Carmela to Ozzy's Tony, but rather his Dr. Melfi, providing guidance, insight and the occasional dose of tough love, whether he wants it or not.
But what would happen if these parallel cable universes collided? After all, the Sopranos will have a lot of free time on their hands after this weekend. Would Melinda be able to keep Meadow and A.J. in line? Would Jack's charms woo Adriana away from Christopher? How would Ozzy's life on the road change with Paulie Walnuts as his tour manager?
Maybe Kelly's new "business associate" Silvio could help to "encourage" radio programmers in New York to play her new single. Surely, Furio could take care of the gawking fans that keep turning up at the Osbournes' front gate. We're pretty sure Ozzy's guitarist Zakk Wylde would have decapitated Ralphie Cifaretto anyway, so not much would change there.
What do you think? What do "The Osbournes" have in common with "The Sopranos," and what would you get if you threw the two shows into a blender? Let us know what you think in You Tell Us.