The Lilith Fair-Warped Swap, Pt. III

WARPED FAN: I'm a total jackass.

DANIELLE: I can tell.

WARPED FAN: Totally, totally.

SAMANTHA: Wow, why don't you call yourself, change your name to Jackass, then?

WARPED FAN: That's my name.

MATT (to Lilith fans walking past): Hey, did you guys hear Paula Cole? Did you hear Paula Cole? Did you like her? (One girl nods and keeps walking.)

DWAYNE: Buddy, yeah. They walked away. That's cool.

WARPED FAN: Wanna know what my new pick up line is?

SAMANTHA AND DANIELLE: "I'm a jackass"?

WARPED FAN: No, that's nothing. My new pick up line is, "Can I use your bathroom 'cause I got diarrhea?" And the one after that...

MATT (to another Lilith fan): Hi. Is this your first girlie concert? No?

SAMANTHA: Well, Jackass...

DANIELLE: It's been fun.

SAMANTHA: Enjoy the concert.

WARPED FAN: I will.

SAMANTHA: Don't break too many hearts!

DANIELLE (leaving WARPed): I didn't think

it was boring, I wasn't bored for one second.

SAMANTHA: That's true you know, what I mean? At some concerts you go to, you're bored.

MATT (leaving Lilith): Fiona Apple was cool, and The Cardigans were pretty nice -- at least one of their songs.

DWAYNE: They were cool. I like that song, what's it called? "Lovely, Lovely"?

MATT: "Lovefool"?

DWAYNE: No wait, "Lovefool, Lovefool."

SAMANTHA: There was so much stuff to do.

DANIELLE: And you know what? Most of the people were so nice.

SAMANTHA: They really were. They were nice to us.

DWAYNE: Of course, it was a girl concert. It was for girls, it was a girl concert.

MATT (headed towards stairs): Buddy, I could not see a skate ramp.

DWAYNE: There's no vert ramp there.

SAMANTHA: Maybe these people aren't that bad. Maybe, hell, maybe I'll do a mohawk.

DANIELLE: That's stretching it, Sam.

SAMANTHA: You're right.

DANIELLE: Don't mess

with your hair.

SAMANTHA: You're right. My hair's pretty nice.

DANIELLE: That's low, that's low.

Yin and Yang, the world's oldest story, continues. Thanks to everyone involved, you guys were great.