The Lilith Fair-Warped Swap, Pt. II

MATT (clutching bars of Lilith venue gate): I want to get out of here! Back to the ska and punk bands!

SAMANTHA (at WARPed guitar booth): We could be song writers for these bands. (Singing and attempting to play guitar) "I'm bitter! I'm bitter against my friends, I'm bitter against my sister, I'm bitter against the world because I'm a rich, over-privileged, trust fund..."

BOTH: BRAT!!! (Delighted that they both thought of and sang that word simultaneously, the girls high five.)

MATT (thumb wrestling DWAYNE to pass time. Tries to distract him): Look, it's Paula Cole!

DWAYNE: Come on, I'll take you another round.

SAMANTHA: Here we go. Will you guard and make sure no one comes in the Port-A-Potty when I'm in there?

DANIELLE: Yes.

MATT: I haven't even seen the Port-A-Potties, yet.

DWAYNE: They smell good, too?

MATT: Oh, it's great, I could live in there.

DWAYNE: Let me check it out.

SAMANTHA (heard

from inside Port-A-Pottie): Okay, ewwww, ewww!!

DANIELLE: Hurry, it smells.

SAMANTHA: I'm trying to hurry. I'm just trying not to touch anything. There's no sink exactly to wash my hands with.

DANIELLE: There's a sink in there, too?

SAMANTHA: No, that's my point. I've got to be very careful I don't touch anything.

DANIELLE (sarcastically): God, these are luxury Port-A-Potties.

MATT: Everything is just like, so pretty. There probably isn't even any mud on the ground.

SAMANTHA, (walking through mud): Ew, ew, ew, ew.

DWAYNE: Hey, look, shops. I didn't see those before. Let's go check it out.

MATT: They're just selling a bunch of dresses.

DWAYNE: So what? I like dresses... for other people, though, not me.

SAMANTHA: Stores! Let's go shopping, come on! (Skips off toward WARPed booths.)

DANIELLE: Don't skip Samantha, we might not fit in.

MATT (holding up frock from Lilith booth): It's

nice, real nice.

DWAYNE: Let's go.

DANIELLE (trying on a rhinestone choker): Ah, see? Ahhh, that's it. And look, I can attach a leash to it, and drag you anywhere I wanted you to go.

SAMANTHA: That could be good for today.

DANIELLE (tugging choker's leash hook): Come, skank whore, come! [1.8 MB QuickTime]

MATT: These clothes are so sexist. It's all like, baby tees.

DWAYNE: It's all girls, man.

MATT: It's like, where's the stuff for guys?

DANIELLE (trying on leather bracelets): Remember when Billy Idol was first big, and this way really in? Now it's back.

SAMANTHA: Is Billy Idol back?

DANIELLE: No, but the dog collars are back.

MATT (standing before a booth called the "Love Tent"): It's the Love Tent, I feel like I'm...

DWAYNE: You go in there, and everyone's gonna think...

MATT: You know what this is? It's like one of those

hippie things...

DWAYNE: Definitely. It's a hippie fest, dude.

MATT: It's like everybody's getting in contact with their femininity.

SAMANTHA (to WARPed fan with squirt gun): Okay, can we have a squirt gun? (Guy squirts them) No, I don't want to BE squirted.

DANIELLE (to SAMANTHA): We got hit on! Wooo! (They high five.)

DWAYNE: Let's talk to somebody. Say hi to somebody. I said hi to the last person. Say hi to somebody.

MATT: All right.