Gwar Explains How The Plot (And The Ooze) Thickens On New Album

Costumed concept rockers Gwar returned to record racks recently, which as fans know means that it's time to write another chapter in the band's mythology.

With the arrival of "We Kill Everything" last month (and the band's return to the road) the ooze-dripping bandmembers have a new story to tell on-stage.

"The general theme with Gwar is usually that Gwar is on a continual quest to escape Earth once and for all so they can return to outer space and gain vengeance on their unholy master," frontman Odorus Urungus explained recently, while guitarist Balsac the Jaws of Death looked on.

"Now this year, they've got this new stupid plan. They're going to kill everything. They tried to kill the penguins last year, and they failed. They tried to blow up America, they tried to blow up the world, and they failed. So this year, if we try to kill everything and fail, it will be the most grandiose

failure yet. So we've got this thing called the Tablet, an ancient alien artifact that chronicles all the events of time from beginning to the end. If Gwar can find the Tablet and decipher its secrets, they will escape Earth once and for all. Unfortunately, we smash it into bits at the beginning of the show, and then the rest of the show and the rest of the album is a quest to find all the missing pieces that are guarded by various monsters and chessy celebrities."

That should explain it.

The band's theatrics and built-in legend will also soon spawn a board game (see "Gwar Delivers Board Game, Tour Itinerary"). "Gwar: Rumble in Antarctica" is slated to hit stores this month and looks to hit a very specific market. "We're hoping to appeal to the 12-year-old, pimply-faced, drink-Big-Gulps-all-day and hang-out-at-the-comic-book-store-only-to-be

molested-by-the-shop's-owner demographic," Odorus explained. If you'd like a live tutorial on the Gwar storyline, here's where to look:

  • 5/7 - Detroit, MI @ Harpo's
  • 5/9 - Columbus, OH @ Newport Music Hall
  • 5/10 - Cincinnati, OH @ Bogart's
  • 5/11 - Chicago, IL @ Vic Theatre