Kevin Farley (Michael Malone)
Kelsey Grammer (General George C. Patton)
Trace Adkins (Angel of Death/Trace Adkins)
Robert Davi (Aziz)
Geoffrey Arend (Mohammed)
Joey Luthman (Boy Scout)
Travis Schuldt (Josh)
Kevin Sorbo (George Mulrooney)
Nikki DeLoach (Lily)
David Alan Grier (Rastus Malone)
Paris Hilton (Paris Hilton)
Dennis Hopper (Judgw)
Chriss Anglin (John F. Kennedy)
Jesse Heiman (Young Michael Malone)
Simon Rex (Simon Rex)
Gary Coleman (Bacon Stains Malone)
Fred Travalena (Jimmy Carter)
James Woods (Agent Grosslight)
Bill O'Reilly (Bill O'Reilly)
Serdar Kalsin (Ahmed)
Leslie Nielsen (Osama bin Nielsen/Grandpa)
Jon Voight (George Washington)
Gail O'Grady (Jane Wagstaffe)