Weird Al Yankovic › Lyrics › It's All About the Pentiums

It's all about the Pentiums, baby
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby

What y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chat room yakkers
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard

Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls and I don't read spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse

Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It's all about the Pentiums, what?
You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen
You've got white-out all over your screen
You think your Commodore 64 is really neato

What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh
Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
You're the biggest joke on the Internet

Your database is a disaster
You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin' 'Me too' like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller

It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby

Now, what y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chat room yakkers
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard

Uh, uh, loggin' in now, wanna run wit my crew, hah?
Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
Got 'em printed out on my bedsheets
My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I opened the box

You say you've had your desktop for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique
Your laptop is a month old, well that's great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
My digital media is write-protected
Every file inspected, no viruses detected
I beta tested every operation system
Gave props to some, and others, I dissed 'em

While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin'
It does all my work without me even askin'
Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide wide
I believe that your says 'Etch-A-Sketch' on the side
In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user
You've got your own newsgroup, 'Alt.total-loser'
Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you
If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you

It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby

What y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chat room yakkers
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard
What?