Amil › Lyrics › Smile 4 Me

My life, is in the hands of the man upstairs
Through trials and tribulations, he'll always be there
You see, I know he loves me and I know he cares
And he'll never put more on me, than I can bear

Is it a blessing to live or a blessing to die?
Let me finish out this hell with no questions why
I should be happy I'm on and dressing fly
But is the game changing me for the extra pie?

If you could just look into the life I live
Three sixty catching up to all the trife I did
Got my people up north trying to slice the bid
While I'm in love with a nigga, with a wife and kid

Maybe if my pops ain't abandon me
I wouldn't let so many niggas take advantage of me
Using me, some even put their hands on me
I wonder what the most high got planned for me

My life line getting shorter when I look in my palms
Swore I'll be nothing like my biological mom
She ain't raise me so naturally I never felt a bond
At sixteen got my GED never saw a prom

I been weak and I been strong
I been through the fire, I been through the storm
I try to do right and I know I do wrong
Just be happy for me when my life is gone

'Cause, no more hurt and no more tears
There'll be no more pain and no more fears
No more people in my face that's not sincere
So, smile for me when I'm no longer here

At a young age I let the world turn me out
Pellets and purple haze been burnt me out
A hard knock life is all I learned about
Trying to eat the only thing I be concerned about

Telling my youth everything happens for a reason
Let him know it ain't that his father wanted to leave him
If it wasn't for the streets he'd still be breathing
Trying to raise him myself but I know he need him

Me and my seed used to live off mostly welfare
Only two checks a month for us both to share
I remember making sure that the coast was clear
So, I could boost us some muthafucking clothes to wear

Had to hustle 'cause them food stamps just wasn't enough
Upstate back to Broadway got to go re-up
All this fast cash only turned the heat up
Can't afford to get knocked but who gonna feed us

I been weak and I been strong
I been through the fire, I been through the storm
I try to do right and I know I do wrong
Just be happy for me when my life is gone

'Cause, no more hurt and no more tears
There'll be no more pain and no more fears
No more people in my face that's not sincere
So, smile for me when I'm no longer here

Can't shake these thoughts of suicide
Anyone I ever loved or was close to, died
Ones I trusted or thought was being true lied
A lifetime of tears but just a few I cried

Try to take my past, stick it up on a shelf
But, my actions stem from all the pain I felt
I'm just trying to make the best out the hand I dealt
If I fall, who can I turn to for help?

Hope my man with me and not my wealth
Will he be there through good and bad sickness and health?
Does he want the real me or somebody else?
I been in wars just so I don't hurt myself

Now that I'm on most can't stand me now
But they was happy when I rocked all them hand me down
When I need them, funny how they can't be found
That's why the most high's my only family live

I been weak and I been strong
I been through the fire, I been through the storm
Try to do right and I know I do wrong
Just be happy for me when my life is gone

'Cause, no more hurt and no more tears
There'll be no more pain and no more fears
No more people in my face that's not sincere
So, smile for me when I'm no longer here

Yeah, it's right, my life
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