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 Britney Turns Autopilot Off: SuChin Pak Tells The Story Behind The Interview
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"It's not about pushing the envelope," she said of her lyrics. "When you really go through things yourself and you really feel them, it's going to come out sooner or later. It's exhilarating to express yourself and get those things out that you want to say."
The sex kitten Britney on In the Zone is not the same Britney who has to sit down and talk about the album in interviews. When asked about "Touch of My Hand," an ode to masturbation, Britney apprehensively fiddled with her ring while reluctantly giving an answer.
 "The thing is ... this is a touchy subject," she began before blurting out, "Oh my goodness!" as she caught her unintentional double entendre. "I can totally go in the studio and sing it, but when I have to explain it, I get really weird and bashful about the whole thing.
"But it's a healthy thing," she continued. "It's a positive thing, and I think it's reality."
Part of Spears' appeal is the seeming contradiction between her over-the-top displays of sexuality and her "What? Who, me?" protestations when asked about her sex-goddess status. While she traipses around in the lowest riding hip-hugger jeans ever sewn, and routinely removes her bra or pants for photo shoots, the offstage Britney is perplexed by the reactions she inspires.
"I don't understand what the big deal is," she said, "or what the big deal is with me and Madonna kissing [during this year's Video Music Awards]. Hasn't America seen two girls kiss before? I don't understand, but you just have to roll with it. Whatever. I think it's bizarre."
Outrageous magazine photo spreads, daily headlines in the tabloids and highly publicized relationships coupled with more than 23 million albums sold in the U.S. have all helped Spears' celebrity persona grow to stratospheric heights. But the brighter Britney's star shines, the more difficult it is for her to be herself. Forget about same-sex kissing: For Britney Spears, even a minor transgression like being caught smoking or staying out late — normal infractions for most people — is cause for a stir. She can't just be herself without the whole world reading about it.
Working hard to hold onto her real self, as she approaches her 22nd birthday Britney has made it a point to reserve personal time in her demanding schedule, and she says that doing so has helped her grow, both personally and professionally, more in the past year than she has in her whole life.
"This has definitely been the biggest growth year for me," she said. "Not that I'm a different person but I feel a difference, just a little difference on the inside. I think a lot of that has to do with just being with me, just by myself. And doing things on my own. It makes you grow up a little bit more."
Besides her sexual persona, Britney's introspective, true self shows up on In the Zone, most pronounced in the song "Everytime." One of the seven songs she co-wrote, the ballad's lyrics flowed naturally in a hotel one night while she was on tour overseas.
"Something just came over me and it just came out subconsciously," she said. "At the time I was going through a lot emotionally. Believe it or not, when I'm really in a lull state, when I'm kind of dark, that's when I'm most creative."
Though she didn't specify what exactly was occupying her thoughts, last year saw the end of her longstanding romance with Justin Timberlake, a difficult time for her emotionally that she says impacted her songwriting for the better.
Justin left Britney with more than heartbreak. Before they split, she shed her self-made image of the all-American virgin when the couple consummated their relationship — and caused a free-for-all in the media when it came out in a W magazine interview in July. Though Britney shrugs off the attention her love life receives, it seems to have created both the sexual and emotional awakening apparent on In the Zone.
"When you experience something that special and something so sacred, so much more emotion goes into [everything you do]," she said. "I'm not suggesting that everyone go do that — I mean, I really thought that I was going to marry the person and be with him for the rest of my life, so that's why I did it. But when you do that, you creatively go through such a different state. And when you're in the studio, you feel like you can say more."
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Photo: Jive
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