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-- by Joe D'Angelo, with additional reporting by Iann Robinson
For four months, producers and camerapeople roamed freely through the home
of the Osbournes, capturing footage for the reality series named for the
first family of heavy metal, so it's probably safe to assume that at least
one irreplaceable family heirloom was damaged in the process.
"No. Only my mind," Ozzy Osbourne said.
We've always suspected Ozzy had bats in his belfry — even before he bit
the head off a live one onstage — and "The Osbournes" confirms
those theories. The show portrays Ozzy as the befuddled patriarch, kept in
check by his wife/manager Sharon and trying his best to be a good role model
for daughter Kelly and son Jack. The perception of The Children of Oz as
hellspawn is offset by their rather average adolescent upbringing (sibling
rivalries, curfews and disputes about getting a tattoo). And what is perhaps
the most surprising aspect of the show is that Ozzy just might be the most
level-headed of the bunch.
John Michael "Ozzy" Osbourne has been famous longer than many of
his fans have been alive. As the frontman for Black Sabbath in the '70s, he
helped define a new genre of music called heavy metal with harrowingly sung
macabre lyrics atop the deeply distorted power chords of Sabbath guitarist
Tony Iommi. His solo career took off in 1980 with Blizzard of Ozz, on
which Osbourne continued to expound upon the occult and the shadowy side of
human existence while the music paved the way for all metal bands to come.
And the 53-year-old "Iron Man" is still going strong, having
released his eighth solo album, Down to Earth, last fall and preparing
to headline this summer's Ozzfest.
Since the March 5 premiere of "The Osbournes," however, Ozzy's celebrity has crossed over from the dark side to the realm of Jennifer Aniston, Ray Romano and James Van Der Beek. The success of the program has turned the self-proclaimed "f---ing prince of f---ing darkness" into the most lovable metal maniac to ever grace the small screen. And the fact that Ozzy appears oblivious to America's fascination with him as an affable tattooed teddy bear only adds to his endearing allure.
"People on the street were really freaking out — I don't get it, man," he said of his newfound popularity as a TV star. "It's me being me in my house. That's the way we always are." He shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows above his trademark round blue glasses to emphasize his disbelief. "We didn't play up to the cameras, trying to be a bit more gross. That's the way we are."
Unlike the subjects of other reality shows, the Osbourne family isn't relegated to simply being vulnerable spectacles in a mansion-sized fishbowl. Sharon Osbourne is one of the show's executive producers, so nothing makes it on the air without her approval. She is pretty lenient, however, when it comes to green-lighting potentially embarrassing segments. Viewers at home have been treated to the family discussion of Kelly's pending appointment with the gynecologist, for instance, whom the family repeatedly referred to as the "vagina doctor"; and Ozzy's turning of a simple household chore into a side-splitting laugh riot due to his inability to accomplish any banal task without Herculean effort.
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Photo: Gregg Delman
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